


Victory Tour

by Boysnextdoor



Series: Victory Tour [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Armitage Hux, Bottom Kylo Ren, Boyfriends, Camping, Come Eating, Come Shot, Daddy Issues, Dating, Dirty Talk, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Hair-pulling, Hot Springs & Onsen, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Missionary Position, Mutual Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Praise Kink, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Star Wars References, Virgin Kylo Ren, Voyeurism, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 10:10:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17764781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boysnextdoor/pseuds/Boysnextdoor
Summary: “One of these days I am going to start keeping my love life separate from my professional image”.Hux would never do that.





	1. The exhaustion of empire building

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to get real raunchy and real x rated real fast. Hold on folks. 
> 
> Updates intermittently.

“One of these days I am going to start keeping my love life separate from my professional image”.

He would never do that.

The exhaustion of empire building started to wear on Hux and his crack team of ace officers promoted to made up ranks after the fall of Snoke. Hux slinked back to his room each night, emotionally, mentally, physically exhausted. There were planets and civilizations to keep in check. The threat of rebellion was ubiquitous. Hux reassured himself that the propaganda machine was working as it was supposed to. All anyone could see from the outside was stability and safety inside the First Order.

How it happened was a mystery, but each night Hux came home to find someone else in his quarters. The Supreme Leader let himself in during the day to “meditate” or do whatever the fuck it was he needed to do. There wasn’t actually a role or a need for a Supreme Leader. Kylo Ren didn’t actually serve a purpose anymore.

Hux would half-way seduce Kylo into a hookup. It usually started with the conversational equivalent of netflix and chill. It’s just a one time thing, right? I don’t actually care about you…

“What are you doing?”

“Meditating”

“Ah.”

But this happened every night which made the “one night stand” defense harder. Harder, but not impossible. Now Hux had to come up with a cool reason for why he needed Kylo to stay here with him.

Kylo would take care of that himself because he lived a privileged life and had no need for the filter between brain and mouth that nearly every other person had. “Is this the part where we talk about how our days went? Can we skip to the part where you invite me into your bedroom?” he asked.

The Grand Marshal froze like a wet cat. He was sitting at his desk, alone. Where he thought he would spend the night working, alone. And he always assumed he would be forever alone. Until now.

“I’m just kidding” Kylo smiled. The Grand Marshal exhaled.

“You caught me. I have no plan beyond this point,” Hux rustled the items on his desk. He was pretending like he was going to turn his datapad on. Although that didn’t stop him from taking an eyeful of the sexy jedi-killing death machine in front of him. How was he so cute even when he was in training clothes? And girl where was his shirt? And those boots. “Are those-?”

Hux gestured to Kylo’s sleek black assassin boots. “The Chanel boots? Yeah” Kylo laughed. “Being the Supreme leader pays pretty well”.

“You label whore,” Hux hissed.

That made them both laugh. Omg did Kylo think he was funny?

Hux poured himself a drink. He sauntered back to his desk.

“Come sit next to me I don’t want you to sit hovering on air or whatever the fuck you are doing“ Hux heard how ridiculous he sounded. Drink. But force insults aside Kylo moved over to sit on Hux’s desk. Yes, like sitting his ass on the surface of the desk. So much for pretending to work. Hux was trying to be cool. Drink.

“Are you going to tell me I have to sit in your lap?” Kylo teased. “And how can I get you out of your uniform?”

Hux fought to keep a straight face. He smiled to himself anyway. Drink. “Those things are not meant to be spoken of in polite conversation,” Hux whispered.

Kylo huffed. He bounced his legs and looked at Hux. Hux tried not to react, like this was not an everyday occurrence. It was. (drink)

“Can you take your shoes off?” Hux asked.

“These are Chanel.”

“Can you take your Chanel boots off? Before we get on the bed.” Hux smiled with a look of insistence. A look that he might have if he knew he was completely dominant over the person before him. It worked.

Kylo took off his boots in the most achingly slow, sexy, teasing way possible.

Hux watched his legs like it was really fuckin scandalous and not just taking boots off. He acknowledged his own erection in his jodhpurs with both excitement and embarrassment.

Kylo looked over at Hux to judge his reaction to the boot show. Hux was squirming to pull his uniform jacket over his crotch so it was a success. Kylo definitely clocked the bulge in the the Grand Marshal’s pants. Kylo was pleased with the amount of undivided attention he was receiving. He crawled up the onto Hux’s desk, legs spread wide.

“Good,” Hux joked.

Kylo moved a foot in between Hux’s legs. He knew what he was doing. He used his foot to rub against Hux’s erection. Hux reacted in exactly the most embarrassing combination of sounds he could have personally hoped not to make.

This teasing encouraged Kylo who wanted more than anything to be wanted and validated.

“Grand Marshal,” Kylo smiled, gyrating against Hux’s desk.

“Ohhhh damn it all,” Hux cracked his neck. “Get on the bed. Assume the position”.

The “sexy” outfit was Hux in his underwear, sock garters, and regulation First Order cap. Sometimes Kylo liked the black undershirt. He was a wild card like that. Hux kept a leather whip in one of his drawers which he used to emotionally destroy Kylo. Something about the threat of discipline made him more compliant. Kylo would start begging Hux for things. He would wait for permission. He would deny himself orgasm. It was so fucking hot.

The “position” was Kylo sitting upright with his legs off the side of the bed. Sometimes Hux would make Kylo rub his face in Hux’s crotch. If Hux was hard he could make Kylo grab his erection through his underwear using only his mouth, just like they do in the good holovideos. This was something Hux hoped to partake in on this particular occasion.

“Use your mouth,” Hux gripped Kylo’s hair almost too hard. Just hard enough to hurt a little, to feel real.

Kylo mouthed at Hux’s cock through the cotton of his underwear. Hux used the whip to lash lightly against Kylo’s back. The point was not to leave marks or draw blood. The point was to make him feel something.

“Put your head on the tip”, Hux ordered. He was wearing the hat so you know, it was legit or whatever. Kylo Had to do it.

Kylo took Hux’s cock in his mouth through his underwear. The heat was delicious. Hux landed a series of smacks with the whip.

“May I-“

“Excuse me?” Hux interrupted.

Kylo stroked his cock absentmindedly. That thing was huge. The head twitched toward Hux. It was swollen and red. It needed to be touched. Hux waited to hear what Kylo would ask for.

“Lord Grand Marshal of the First Order,” Hux had instructed Kylo to use the full title. He had to say the whole thing. Yes, every time.

Kylo licked his lips. “I want to fuck you”.

Hux landed a blow to Kylo’s back with the whip. Kylo winced in fake pain.

“You may not,” Hux frowned. “Although, I may allow you to help me finish.”

Kylo nodded. “How much longer?”

There was an exchange of glances. Rules were important.

Kylo tilted his head and adopted a mocking tone as he corrected himself “Lord Grand Marshal of the First Order how much longer until I can fuck you?”

Hux hadn’t really expected this. He shifted his stance. He adjusted a rebellious sock garter. “We can talk about it after?” It was a statement and a question.

Kylo agreed. But the task at hand. Kylo grabbed Hux’s underwear to free his cock. Kylo had gotten pretty okay at sucking dick. It turns out it’s not nearly the endeavor everyone makes it out to be. Hux could tell it was not his favorite. Sucking dick is nobody’s favorite.

As Kylo took Hux in his mouth, he busied himself between his own legs. It was getting heavy. He needed something to help slick it. Kylo pushed forward nonetheless, focusing on the steady stream of precum leaking from the head. It used to gross him out. Now he understood that precum was just lube to help you finish. Kylo was getting really good at finishing by himself. Not exactly the sexual experience he had hoped for.

Hux enjoyed watching Kylo go down on him. Hux never lasted long. He had tried timing himself using the clock next to the bed as a measure. Kylo’s average time was 7.24 minutes. Each time they did this Hux tried to last longer. It was impossible. As soon as he felt the building heat between his legs he couldn’t stop it. What undid him every time was the thought of the cumshot. Should he go in Kylo’s mouth? On his face? The more he thought about it the more turned on he got. He would start thinking about Kylo coming below him. The head of Kylo’s cock always twitched upward towards his stomach. Cum would be urged upwards instead of forwards. It made for a lot of dripping that followed Hux into his private sessions. His best chance to not think about it was to ground himself in the present, thus the whip. Hux would hold the whip through the whole thing, but never used it. For obvious reasons. Teeth reasons.

Even thinking about the word “cumshot” made Hux feel really hot all over. Shit. He was already about to come. Hux glanced at the clock: 5 minutes thirty seconds in. This was where it got really difficult. He tightened his death grip on Kylo’s scalp. Kylo made this throaty noise that was really really nice. Hux tried not to focus on the increasingly fast rhythmic motions of Kylo’s head. Even that was super hot. Kylo was going fast now. Could he tell? Probably.

6 minutes. Hux tried rubbing on the whip and not thinking about coming. It didn’t work.

“Chest today,” Hux whimpered. And you know he’s got the hat on so it’s an official order.

Kylo pulled back and let Hux finish on his chest. The result was spectacular.

Kylo’s hand was furious between his legs. He whined a few times and then spilled on Hux’s floor. Why was there so much? They did this literally every day. It was excessive at this point. Even a little rude. Hux stood over Kylo, exhausted, watching him make a small lake of cum on the clean floor. If he got even a little on Hux’s boots he had to clean it off with his mouth. Sometimes this was done intentionally.

Kylo whined while he stroked just the end of his cock, trying to milk the last drops of come out of it. Hux watched with exhaustion. What a waste. Hux looked forward to catching all that come in his ass someday. He banished the thought.

Afterwards, they collaboratively cleaned up. Clothes were tracked down and sorted into various piles. Kylo wadded up all his clothes in the dedicated corner. He slept in Hux’s quarters most nights. They hadn’t discussed keeping Kylo’s clothes at Hux’s place. They were just not there yet.

Hux ran his hands over Kylo’s back where he had been disciplined with the whip. There were no marks but massaging the skin is just a nice thing to do. Kylo did the human equivalent of purring as Hux rubbed his back.

“Can we talk about it now?” Kylo asked.

Hux agreed.

“I want to do it before we go on the Victory Tour,” said Kylo. “I don’t want our first time to be in some alien capital”.

Hux had been avoiding this conversation. He was concerned about having sex with Kylo for the first time. It would change their relationship. Right now it was so- perfect? What if Kylo became a jerk and left him? Terrible! What if Kylo admitted he had caught feelings and wanted to be his boyfriend? That would be spectacular.

Hux stayed cool “I like things the way they are now”.

Kylo rolled over to have a more serious conversation. Hux had taught him about making eye contact and maybe that’s what was happening now.

“What if I wanted something a little more- serious-er?” Kylo asked.

Hux ignored the grammar in that comment. His pulse had just spiked. “What do you mean more serious?”

Kylo shrugged. “I don’t know. What’s one level up from what we have now?”

“There isn’t a kriffing menu”.

“Okay.”

Hux was on the brink of a full-blown panic. Was this Kylo ending things? Usually relationship talks ended in terrible, terrible decisions. Like both parties deciding “yeah let’s break up” and being totally okay with it. And then it’s a week later and you’re drunk and you message them some shit like “I miss you so much!” But you just wanna hook up. And they say no, because obviously, you just broke up. So you get really really drunk and cry about it. And then two months later you meet up at a party and bang. No way Hux was putting himself through that. Not. Again.

Kylo looked into Hux’s eyes. “I’m not going to read your mind, and I haven’t been. And I know that you can’t read my mind so to even the playing field I would like to show you how I feel, through the force?”

“Why can’t you just tell me like an adult?” Hux huffed.

Kylo sighed “Because it’s infinitely more difficult”.

“Can you try?” Hux insisted. “It’s not ‘fair’ for you to use the force to say- whatever it is- you want to say to me. Say it to my face”.

And so Kylo composed himself. “Hux, Armitage. I really enjoy you. And also, spending time with you. And I want to spend more time in the future with you and maybe even learn a little about you. And in order for me to do that I think we have to spend time doing other sorts of activities.”

“What sorts of activities? Where is this going?”

Kylo tried to put thoughts into words. He failed. It came out as a jumble. “Armitage I really- I like you. A lot. I would like to date you. But I have never dated anyone before.”

Hux nodded. His blood was pumping so fast he couldn’t tell if he was having an aneurysm or a panic attack or both. “So I would be your, boyfriend? Then.”

Kylo nodded. “And I would be yours. If you would have me?”

It was embarrassing really. All that worrying over nothing. Hux tried so hard not to smile, but instead showed the biggest non work-related grin he had probably ever had. “Yes. I would like that a lot.”

Kylo smiled. They both laughed a little.

Hux leaned in for a kiss. Kylo obliged. They had to start doing lovey dovey shit like that now.

“Where would you like to go on our first date?” Hux asked. He expected something like “the mess hall” or “the bridge” because they lived on a fucking star destroyer.

“I was thinking the Victory Tour could be our first date. We can go lots of places”, Kylo had been thinking about this. Oh my god he had been thinking about this.

Hux enthusiastically agreed. They would go lots of places.

Also, the “Victory Tour” was just a front! There was no victory! There was no tour! It was a mission to target resistance strongholds. Kylo would go to the capital and shake hands with whomever. Receive tributes or whatever. Meanwhile Hux and his crack team would be overseeing covert operations to subvert and eradicate rebels and rebel strongholds. They were calling it a “victory tour” for the propaganda machine. Hux hadn’t told Kylo about it. He kept the whole thing compartmentalized. If Kylo thought he was going to go shake hands and Hux was there “to advise” then all the better.

If he thought this was their first date then

well

 

fuck.


	2. Mama's Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first planet on the Victory Tour was FO-1719. It did not have a real name yet because the original planet’s name invoked the New Republic. The First Order renamed all the planets in the system after they surrendered.
> 
> Kylo had been transported to the planet’s surface for a “victory rally” and photo opportunity with the planet’s ruler. Half the star destroyer was probably on the surface of the planet. There was no way this was just a “photo op”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long i literally just got married
> 
> hit me up on the tungle at iambackgarbageblog if you want to talk fandom or what have you

The first planet on the Victory Tour was FO-1719. It did not have a real name yet because the original planet’s name invoked the New Republic. The First Order renamed all the planets in the system after they surrendered. 

 

Kylo had been transported to the planet’s surface for a “victory rally” and photo opportunity with the planet’s ruler. Half the star destroyer was probably on the surface of the planet. There was no way this was just a “photo op”. 

 

Hux opened with a rousing 20 minute speech to a crowd of the planet’s oligarchs. They probably would have stayed home but as mentioned earlier, there was a legitimate army of stormtroopers behind them. According to the propaganda people it made for a better picture. Kylo was so kriffing bored he had started to count the troopers. They stood in these neat little lines so it was really easy. 

 

Finally, Hux finished his speech. The ruler of the planet- a small woman in the official uniform of the galaxy’s noveau riche- got up to make another speech. Kylo wondered if she wanted to get out of “uniform” as badly as he did. The propaganda team had set him up with a ridiculous outfit to make him look more like a Supreme Leader. Hux pretended he didn’t have anything to do with it. He probably had everything to do with it. When Kylo found out about the formal supreme leader costume he tried to look forward to some kind of kinky undergarment included in it. But no. Just a lot of robes. The propaganda team reassured him that the robes looked very legit. So, good on you, Grand Marshal. Maybe if Armitage Hux had been allowed a creative outlet in his formative years he wouldn’t be a sociopath now. 

 

After the speeches Kylo was expected to mingle with all the oligarchs and the really old lady in charge of the planet. It was excruciating. Most of the people there were broadcasting fear, anxiety, stress, sadness. During a long photo opportunity the old lady actually thought broadcasted:

 

“if you can read minds like they say, please don’t hurt my son”.

 

What a bummer. Kylo stood for photos with all the required people then made a beeline for Hux. He was done. There must be some kind of minimum quota, and he probably met it. This was torture. Like, Kylo had actually been tortured before and this was worse. 

 

Hux seemed amused “Well I can certainly step in for you if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

No. That’s not it at all. But also, this is terrible. “Thank you,” Kylo brushed past him so he didn’t have to see the annoying smirk on Hux’s face. Hux loved being told that he was better at something. He really loved being better than Kylo. 

 

Kylo returned to the transport. He changed back into his gross ozone-smelling combat getup. It was time to figure out why they had so many troops on this planet. 

 

“We can’t tell you, sir” one of the Lieutenants, Mitaka maybe, stuttered. 

 

“I’m the Supreme Leader,” Kylo breathed through his mask. The mask made everything better. It seemed to have an effect on Mitaka. 

 

“Grand Marshal Hux ordered complete secrecy, sir. I cannot override his command-“

 

“You can tell me or I can rip it from your mind”.

 

Mitaka weighed what would be worse: disobeying a command or having his mind dissected. He told Kylo Ren everything. There was a rebel stronghold on this planet that was very well connected to the planet’s elite. They were in hiding. The troops were here for a big raid on a “secret” outpost that could blow the whole thing wide open. 

 

Finally. Something interesting. 

 

“You cannot go in with the troops”.

 

“Yes I can.”

 

“I will have to inform the Grand Marshal.”

 

“You do that”.

 

The rebels had holed up in an old climate monitoring outpost deep in the mountains. It was poorly defended. They had probably assumed that their position up against a mountain made it easy to defend. Instead, it meant there was nowhere for them to run. Kylo took a unit of troopers in with him ahead of everyone else. The officers agreed that Kylo’s force abilities would give him an advantage. Also, they were super chicken shit of going into a dark scary cave in the mountains with an unknown number of enemy combatants and who knows what kinds of weapons. 

 

But Kylo kriffing lived for this shit. He could feel every singe resistance member in the cave system. For most of them, the last thing they saw would be his red lightsaber. He made his way through the cave system in record time. He didn’t lose a single trooper. This was the kind of thing Snoke used to make the knights do as a kind of “drill”. After they took the base, Kylo heard one of the troopers talking about how he had “never seen anything like it”. The praise was flattering in a way Kylo wasn’t used to. 

 

The rebel leader was a clean-shaven hipster looking kid who probably wasn’t older than Kylo. A cursory touch through the force gave him all the information he needed to know. 

 

It was his mother. The really rich old lady who was in charge. This is why she asked Kylo not to kill her son. 

 

“Wow, they sent Kylo Ren to come get me,” the rebel leader was super cocky for someone who was completely screwed. 

 

“Don’t flatter yourself. I was already here”.

 

One of the commanders brought Kylo up to speed. The few survivors were huddled in the corner. All intelligence would be extracted from the base and then it would be destroyed. Prisoners could be moved to the transports at Kylo’s discretion. 

 

Kylo surveyed the scraggly rebels and their pompous leader. “We only need this one,” he gestured to the leader. “Bring him back to the palace. I told his mother I would bring him back alive”.

 

The rebel leader turned to see his comrades obliterated by a stormtrooper. He didn’t seem that upset. He seemed more reluctant to go back to the palace. To his mother. 

 

~

 

The Grand Marshal was waiting on the platform when Kylo returned. He looked pretty whatever. Kind of like he planned this. Did he? Was this just another photo op?

 

The old lady was happy to see her filthy hipster rebel son. She preoccupied herself with fussing over him.

 

Kylo pulled Hux aside: “We should talk.” 

 

“I need to debrief you,” Hux smiled. “About the mission”.

 

Excellent. Kylo was kind of high from the op and needed to blow off some steam. Hopefully they could go somewhere private and not discuss work at all. 

 

He followed Hux to a command shuttle with a private room. Yes. Good. Was this room sound proof? Only two stormtroopers on board anyway. Kylo took off his helmet as soon as Hux closed the door. This was so kriffing hot.

 

“How did the mission go?” Hux asked. 

 

Kylo grabbed him by the waist.

 

“No,” Hux said. “After we finish on this planet. When the operation is complete.” 

 

Hux watched the disappointment and confusion on Kylo’s face. “We still don’t know where the rest of the rebels are”. 

 

Kylo was so kriffing turned on. The word “rebel” was like the word “cumshot”. Like, a dirty word. In a sexy way. 

 

Hux looked at him with those bedroom eyes: “You need to meet the obligations of the Victory Tour, Supreme Leader”.

 

Kylo sighed: “I think that the whole “Victory Tour” is a lie to cover up eradicating r- enemy combatants”. 

 

“Maybe. You tell me. How badly do you want to-“ Hux’s eyes looked over Kylo’s body while he searched for the correct word “-finish?”

 

Hux and Kylo collected themselves and returned to the deck of the transport. The two troopers made themselves look real busy. Like they weren’t just eavesdropping. 

 

Hux cleared this throat and the troopers stood at attention. They looked considerably less excited when Kylo approached them. 

 

“I require complete secrecy,” Kylo breathed through the vocoder in his mask.

 

“Yes, sir”.

 

Hux was satisfied with that. “Good,” he nodded.

 

“To make sure, I’m going to take a look for myself”. Kylo held out his hand and poured through the surface thoughts in the stormtrooper’s mind. The screaming started even before he collapsed. His comrade struggled not to look over at his partner’s convulsing body on the ground. 

 

Hux had taken an interest in Kylo’s interrogation style a long time ago. He could barely wait to make some comment about it. He kept looking over at Kylo while they walked back to the palace. 

 

“Did you obtain any useful information from the trooper?” Hux asked. 

 

“Some. Things I hear and see in other people’s minds don’t always make sense. And,” Kylo struggled to explain, “Sometimes I don’t understand”.

 

Hux was trying desperately to hide his interest. “Just tell me what it is. We can figure it out together. I love puzzles”.

 

“No, it’s not like a puzzle. It’s just- something I heard that I didn’t understand”. Kylo didn’t want to embarrass himself further. He knew that whatever he heard was inappropriate.

 

Hux persisted “It must be really good then. I promise not to make fun of you for your inexperience”.

 

When he got like this, it was impossible to change his mind. 

 

Kylo had to just tell him: “The trooper was thinking inappropriate thoughts. About us.”

 

“Yes, I got that,” Hux was so hungry for this juicy juicy gossip. 

 

“He was thinking about-“ Kylo couldn’t even say it. This was so dumb. “I don’t understand what he meant”.

 

Hux was living for it. “I know, I’ll help you figure this out.”

 

Kylo groaned. “He was thinking: ‘I wonder which one of them bottoms?’ But I don’t know what it means?”

 

Hux stopped walking because he was laughing so hard he had to grab a nearby wall for support. He had literally just promised to be respectful and now he was about to collapse from laughing at Kylo’s expense. No way was this that funny. 

 

“Maybe. If you could explain it to me, we could both be in on the joke?”

 

Hux failed to compose himself. He was still smiling. “How do you not know what that means? I thought you watched a lot of holoporn. I just assumed you knew what that meant?”

 

Kylo didn’t want to explain that he only watched the 5-10 minute free videos because he was embarrassed he watched gay porn. So he missed all that great informative dialogue at the beginning. 

 

Hux read it on his face. “It refers to- the partners’ positions during sex”.

 

Kylo thought about it. “I don’t get it.”

 

Hux was fucking living for this. “Think about it-“

 

“I. Am.”

 

“The partner who is ‘giving’-“

 

“What does that even mean?! Stop treating me like a child!”

 

Hux tried really hard to wipe the shit-eating grin off his face. “The one who is doing the fucking is the top and the other one is the bottom.”

 

Oh. “Oh.”

 

Hux laughed to himself. “So the trooper was thinking about which one of us-“

 

“-Yeah. I got it.” Kylo had a lot more questions. So many questions. “Which one are you?”

 

“Well,” Hux was getting ready for his fucking TEDtalk about this. “It’s not like one parter is always the ‘top’ and one the ‘bottom’. In most relationships they aren’t set roles. They go back and forth.”

 

Kylo wanted to do everything with Hux. “We were supposed to try this before we left the ship.”

 

“I was disappointed, too” Hux spoke in his “nice” voice. 

 

“Which one should I try first?” Kylo asked. He had only ever thought about being the “top”. Now he wasn’t sure. 

 

Hux flushed because he was probably thinking about it. “I h-. Uh. It will be good either way. I’ll take care of you”.

 

 

~

 

Kylo had Hux negotiate with the old lady about interrogating her son (the gross resistance leader). She consented on two conditions: they had to promise not to kill him, and it had to be done in the palace. 

 

Kylo assumed he would be in charge of the interrogation because he was just better at it. He decided they should do it in the resistance leader’s childhood bedroom because the nostalgia would make his mind easier to read. 

 

Then Hux told him he wanted a first pass at the interrogation. He was concerned after what Kylo did to that stormtrooper. Fine! Whatever! Kylo was not upset at all!

 

Kylo cuffed the resistance leader to a chair. Not like he was going anywhere. The entire First Order was right outside waiting to get the location of the rest of the rebels so they could annihilate them with an unnecessary show of force. They had already won. Hux and Kylo were just gloating.

 

Kylo stood next to the obscene frilly pink four-poster bed. This whole place was ostentatious for someone who called himself a rebel leader. Then again, it was technically his Mom’s house. Hux seemed to have similar thoughts. He paced back and forth on the polished black tile surveying the nauseating aesthetic. Hux took in the dimensional wallpaper with storybook style forest animals. He played with the decorative figurines above the fireplace. I mean, why was there a fireplace? New money people had NO taste. 

 

Hux took his time walking around the room. He was probably trying to dramatically build the tension with the captive. This was going to be a minute if Hux was playing point on the interrogation. If anything Kylo had to tune out while he suffered through Hux’s attempts at obtaining information.

 

Since Kylo no longer had a part to play he took off his mask. He leaned back onto the bed because this could take a while. 

 

The rebel leader seemed to be getting a second wind.

 

“You’ll never get anything from me!” the filthy rebel hissed. Omg. The dramatics.

 

Kylo put his feet up. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the luxurious duvet. Ok, fuck this guy but his place was awesome. 

 

Hux droned on while he took an exhaustingly slow pace to walk towards the captive. What was he even talking about? Shut up already. He won’t give us information if he has to talk over you. Maybe he was trying to bore the captive to death? Kylo could die first. He couldn’t risk it. 

 

Kylo broke his own resolve and slowly reached out to the captive through the force. His mind was weak. He would break easily. As Kylo probed through the leader’s mind, following the direction of his thoughts, the Grand Marshal grabbed one of Kylo’s feet by the heel of the boot and lifted it off the bed. 

 

Hux took a tone that bordered on chastising: “Please excuse our Supreme Leader. We are working on house-training him.”

 

Kriffing hell. Kylo looked at his boots. They were dirty, fine. Maybe that was blood smeared on the duvet. 

 

Hux rubbed at the dark red splotch. He spoke to the rebel leader: “Someone you knew?”

 

The rebel leader looked defiant, angry, resistant. Completely rattled. Okay, maybe Hux was getting somewhere. “Get out of my head!”

 

Hux looked at Kylo. He knew. Dammit. A look of disappointment passed his face.

 

“I was going to let you finish,” Kylo explained. 

 

“Oh no, by all means. Go ahead.”

 

“I can break his mind later.” Kylo sat up in bed. His demeanor changed. No, it was still the covered-in-the-blood-of-our-enemies Kylo Ren, but what he wanted changed. Hux sensed it also. 

 

Hux addressed him professionally, as always. He asked a question he already knew the answer to. “Supreme Leader, what would you have me do?”

 

Gotta use the correct terminology. Show off. “I’ve decided. I want to bottom,” Kylo demanded. “With you. Please.”

 

“Please?”

 

The rebel leader looked frantically between his captors. A little offended that they had forgotten about him. Also, what the actual fuck. 

 

Kylo pulled Hux by his hips. “Please, Grand Marshal Hux of the First Order”. 

 

“With the captive here? You have a terrible mind.”

 

Yeah. But the way Hux swung his hips back and forth was like a “yes please”. 

 

Kylo glanced around Hux at the rebel leader. He was blushing. “I’m going to mentally destroy him. It will take days for him to recover, if he ever does. Besides, he doesn’t even know who we are.”

 

“I know. who. you. are,” the rebel leader muttered into space. “You are Kylo Ren. Don’t act like you’re better than me. I know who you really are, too. And I’m going to tell the whole galaxy-“

 

“Do you know who I am?” Hux asked, a little excited. 

 

He thought about it. “No. Should I?”

 

Ohhhh the sweet sweet sting! Hux took off one of his gloves and shoved it in the rebel leader’s mouth. It seemed like he made up his mind. “Whatever you want, Supreme Leader. Just ask for it nicely”.

 

Kylo knew what that fucking meant. He got on all fours to kiss the boots. 

 

Hux seemed pleased. He leaned back onto the bed, presenting his midsection. “Get over here, Kylo”.

 

Kylo was suddenly super shy. “Can you- uh,” he stumbled. “Sorry I- just- I have never done this before.”

 

Hux nodded: “I can see that.” But he was also really into Kylo being awkward?

Kylo climbed onto the bed and sat next to him. “Now what?” He felt his face get hot. Hopefully he wasn’t blushing. But he probably was. 

 

“Undress me,” Hux growled. He demanded. Kriff yes! It was so hot. Undressing Hux was becoming a fetish. Kylo wasn’t taking nearly enough time enjoying it. He was an old pro at getting this boy naked. 

 

Kylo got Hux down to his underwear. He noted that it was a white undershirt day, which he had decided long ago was an omen of good fortune. 

 

Hux broke Kylo’s focus when he slid his hands underneath Kylo’s tunic. “What’s under here?” he asked into Kylo’s eyes. Kylo was a little too shy to do anything. They had done this before but this time was different. It would be their first time. Also that gross rebel scoundrel was tied and gagged like right across from them. 

 

When he made no effort to move Hux grabbed Kylo’s hips and moved him closer. “Better,” he smirked. Hux played with the buttons on Kylo’s tunic, taking his time undoing them at a laborious pace. Kylo was definitely flushed now. This was so hot. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this overwhelmed. 

 

And just when he was getting comfortable, Kylo felt Hux’s hands between his legs. Kylo watched Hux undo his fly. He wasn’t taking his pants off. He was- he was going to undo his fly and pull out his- Kylo looked away. For some reason he was embarrassed about this. 

 

It was terrible until Hux lifted himself onto his knees and slid down his regulation briefs. Kylo took in the sweet sweet sight. Hux was already a little hard which made it super distracting. Kylo decided that maybe this was not. that. bad. 

 

“Can you-“ Kylo stopped himself. No, this was definitely worth it. “Can you keep the sock garters on?” Kylo blushed immediately. 

 

Hux considered the request. He ran his hand down the garter. “Sure, I guess,” he smiled. 

 

Kylo sat back against the headboard. He found that his eyes kept returning to Hux’s legs. 

 

“I think you have a fetish,” Hux smiled. 

 

“Why don’t you come sit in my lap so I can find out what else I have a fetish for?”

 

Hux obliged. Kylo was starting to notice that Hux loved to be told that he was desired. This would become important again later.

 

Hux straddled Kylo. He leaned in to whisper against Kylo’s neck in the kind of way that gives you goosebumps. “Like this?”

 

Kylo struggled for words. 

 

Hux was into it. His cock was poking into Kylo’s stomach. He expertly maneuvered Kylo’s into his hand. 

 

Hux gave a few exploratory strokes “I forgot how big this is”, he whispered. 

 

“Yeah, yeah”

 

There was an awkward scuffle so that pants could be taken off, shoes removed etc. Hux returned to straddle Kylo and his now very excited penis. Without thinking Kylo had started to thrust his hips upward for the friction. 

 

Hux expressed sustained enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to get inside you,” he said as he pushed his groin into Kylo. 

 

Kylo was fine with it because he was not emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually capable of denying Hux anything he wanted at this point. 

 

Kylo reached down to take Hux in his hand. Hux made one of those surprised noises. In a good way. Hux pushed his hips into Kylo’s hands. His face flushed, and he started to vocalize. 

 

“Should we like, slow down?” asked Kylo. 

 

Hux groaned “It’s- been such a long- long- time, ungh-nhh”

 

It was a little ironic. “Being an evil space fascist must take up all your free time,” Kylo mused. 

 

Hux squeezed his thighs around Kylo “Someone has to do it.”

 

Kylo rubbed his thumb gently over the wet slit of Hux’s cock. 

 

“Oh fuck yeah,” Hux breathed it because he wasn’t making real words right now. Kylo observed that his companion was close to climax. 

 

“Don’t come yet,” Kylo whispered. 

 

Hux reacted in defiance. “I’m not, I’m not!” But his eyes were closed and his hips were still thrusting into Kylo’s hand. 

 

“You are,” said Kylo. “Don’t come yet!”

 

“Ughhhhh. I’m. Not,” moaned Hux. “I’m trying so hard!”

 

“Try harder!” said Kylo. 

 

Hux pushed himself off of Kylo’s lap. “I’m sorry,” he said in between breaths. “You’re right. I’m- sorry”.

 

“It’s alright.”

 

Hux seemed to settle himself. “Good. Then I’m going to move forward so I can get inside you as quickly as possible.”

 

Kylo reached inside of the bedside drawer and produced a bottle of lubricant. Hux eyed this skeptically. 

 

“I saw it in his mind,” Kylo explained. Hux believed him, but it was still a little weird. 

 

Hux took the bottle and started preparing Kylo. It was super hot to watch Hux’s arms as his hands worked on him. Also, Kylo realized that he might have mistakenly given the impression that he knew what he was doing. Usually sex with Hux involved sustained deprivation, oral commands, and mental submission. This was like- no rules. 

 

Hux continued to do prepatory sex stuff while Kylo was thinking about this. But no worries because Kylo had his “attentive” face on. 

 

Hux was vocalizing from his breathy noise selection: “You know,” he breathed at Kylo, “You’re the first guy that has really let me take my time with this.”

 

Was that good? “Just- uh, enjoying myself,” said Kylo. Was he enjoying this? I mean, he wasn’t NOT enjoying it. It was just not fun yet. In fact, it was becoming problematic because Kylo really wanted to get to the fun part. You know, like in the holovideos. 

 

Kylo was trying to pretend to be patient. He was bad at it.

 

“I want you so bad”, he groaned. “You should like, come over here”.

 

“But you watching me is so hot,” said Hux. “I’m completely turned on”.

 

“I wanna watch you fuck me.”

 

Well that did it. Hux switched to an attack position. He placed Kylo’s hips on a pillow (sorry rebel leader guy you are gonna have to wash that). Hux dramatically spread Kylo’s legs. Hux was instantly on top of Kylo trying to get it in. 

 

Desperately. 

 

And then, success!

 

“Slow!” Kylo begged almost immediately. “Please! nnnggggg- slow!” Kylo watched the expression on Hux’s face as he slowed his assault. It looked like he was having a heart attack or something. He bottomed out and looked down at Kylo. Why was this so hot? Hux kept his eye contact as he slowly pulled back out (not all the way). Kylo could feel Hux inside him. Just thinking about that was incredible. Kylo made a noise he would regret later that was the phrase “please dont stop” mixed with a gasp. 

 

Hux picked up the pace. Kylo wrapped his legs around Hux’s back. He leaned back into the bed. He could feel how hard Hux was looking at his body. They both began reaching for things to hold on to while Hux set a pace. Not in a metaphorical way. Kylo gripped the sheets so hard they started to pull off the mattress. Then he gripped them some more while Hux plowed away. 

 

Hux was clinging to whatever part of Kylo he could get a grip on. His fingers would leave little bruises the next day. So hot. They were getting sweaty and their bodies started to make different noises as they moved together. Kylo wasn’t sure if he liked it. Was this what sex was like?

 

Kylo could feel himself getting close. He put his hand between his legs to work himself up to it. Hux put his hand over Kylo’s. There was a moment before they settled into it again. 

 

Kylo reached up for the headboard “Is it okay if I can’t last much longer?”

 

Hux smiled: “Just let me know when it’s not fun anymore.” Hux relaxed and set a slower pace. He smiled while Kylo writhed underneath him. 

 

Kylo looked at Hux, covered in a layer of sweat above him. He observed all the little muscles in his chest and neck that seemed to tighten and release while he moved. Kylo had been white-knuckling the headboard since Hux started going real slow. 

 

Hux was hitting something that felt really good. Kylo felt Hux’s hand stroke him through his orgasm. Come went everywhere. This was a different type of orgasm than what he was used to. This was awesome. 

 

Hux lifted Kylo’s thighs so he could plow super deep. When he bottomed out his eyes actually rolled back in his head for a second. At the last moment the desire to come all over Kylo’s body entered his mind and he attempted to pull out to manifest this in reality. It was a mixed success. Kylo felt streaks of warmth on his abdomen. 

 

Kylo was completely overstimulated. His face was flushed, covered in tears and maybe a little drool. When Hux caught his breath he rolled onto the bed and collapsed. They laid there for a while with each other. Kylo had nothing to say. Almost.

 

“What’s like, the etiquette for this?” Kylo gestured to the Rebel Leader. “Should we let him finish? Or should I just wipe his mind?”

 

The rebel leader had an embarrassing tent in his pants. Hux dismissively waved in his direction which Kylo took as a signal to undo only one of the handcuffs on the chair. There was a flesh-slapping noise from that direction. Hux climbed over Kylo on the bed to use the fresher. 

 

There was a muffled cry from the Rebel Leader’s chair. Kylo looked down to see a small pool of white liquid on the floor in front of the chair. 

 

“Let me know when you are ready,” Kylo spoke in the Rebel Leader’s direction. The rebel made a kind of yes noise.

 

~

Kylo and Hux left the shitty planet for the Finalizer as soon as they possibly could. The rebel leader was left unconscious in his bedroom. Hux and Kylo considered the etiquette for stripping the sheets but determined it would raise more suspicion than they wanted. Sorry.

 

Kylo took the initiative to move some clothes into Hux’s room. They had consummated their relationship. Maybe now they could take things to the next level. Hux didn’t say anything. If he was uncomfortable he would say something. Right? Laying in bed Kylo stared at Hux, trying to gauge his feelings. 

 

“I think maybe we should reconsider our roles,” Hux said it in a “nice” way. Nothing he said was ever kind, but you could tell when he was trying. 

 

“I agree,” said Kylo. “I want to try everything with you”.

 

Hux absentmindedly touched his own chest. “Well, yes. That. Also, maybe our Supreme Leader should lead the troops into battle while the Grand Marshal handles the politics and statesmanship”.

 

“Maybe you should be Supreme Leader”.

 

“I never said that”.

 

“You were thinking it”

 

“Did you read my mind?”

 

“I didn’t have to,” Kylo wasn’t cruel about it. He never asked for this. He just wanted to master the dark side of the force and serve it’s will. If he wanted a revolution he could have stayed with his mother. 

 

 


	3. Hot springs on ice planet with Poe dameron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hot springs on ice planet with poe dameron. Keep the summary short and sweet
> 
> this garbage fic is gonna cover most of the major fanfic tropes. 
> 
> There is a second half of this chapter coming later, my dudes

“Lord Grand Marshal Hux of the-“ the sentence was cut short by a breathy gasp. Kylo’s adam’s apple bobbed as he gasped for air. 

 

The Lord Grand Marshal watched from his position on the floor of the transport while Kylo straddled him, naked. He dug his still-gloved fingers into Kylo’s thighs. Hux grimaced. He was so damn close. 

 

“-First Order” Kylo breathed out. He was riding Hux’s cock with impressive abandon. In the time since they popped his cherry Kylo had gained the confidence of a seasoned professional. Hux found it more difficult to keep his composure when Kylo chose to set a breakneck holo-worthy pace. 

 

Also, not for nothing

 

They were on a command shuttle with a unit of troopers. 

 

Hux tried to remember his own advice to “be quiet”. It was hard when his head thumped against the durasteel floor every time Kylo pressed his weight down a certain way. Hux had experience with concussions. He would come up with a story. 

 

He imagined:

 

A First Order medic with the highest security clearance: “How did you sustain the contusions?”

 

“I fell down some stairs”

 

Real subtle. 

 

Hux felt his dick move inside of Kylo. He was hitting at a different angle now. Something was rubbing against his cock in an even more aggressive fashion. Hux let his eyes roll back into his head for a second. So close. But not yet. Not yet not yet not yet

 

“I’m- I’m- FUCK!” Kylo was furiously working with his hands to finish. He wasn’t quite there yet. For fuck’s sake. 

 

“I can’t last much longer,” Hux squeezed Kylo’s thighs. How had this happened? He was completely clothed, lying on the floor. His command cap was scattered in their hurry, but he had kept his gloves on? And his pants? Hux felt the tight waistband of his jodhpurs around his thighs. He had pulled them down in such a hurry they might still be fastened. 

 

Kylo’s head swung forward while he swore into his hair. Seriously, any minute now. 

 

“Do you want me to use my mouth?” Hux stroked the inside of Kylo’s thigh with his thumb.

 

Kylo looked up through teary eyes. These were sex tears so it was okay. “We’ve been doing it so much lately. It’s getting harder for me-“

 

“Of course-“

 

“Pull my hair?”

 

What in the shit kind of request

 

Hux grabbed a fistful of Kylo’s hair and pulled. “Like this?” He thrust his hips upward. 

 

Kylo made a combination pain and “yes” noise. “Don’t stop-“

 

Hux tugged at Kylo’s hair in his gloved fist. He pumped his hips upward with great enthusiasm. It was the home stretch whether he wanted it or not. 

 

Kylo seemed to like it. He arched his back. He made noises from what Hux considered to be the “yes daddy” selection. Kylo planted his palms flat on the floor and really rode Hux like they were trying to enter hyperspace with his dick. 

 

Hux felt Kylo’s sweaty shoulder on his face. Goddamn Kylo smelled good. He smelled like a Bath and Body Works candle called “fucked out space fascist”. Hux thought about what his life would be like if he was afforded an artistic outlet in his youth. That ship had sailed. 

 

Hux dragged Kylo’s head out of the way so he could bite at his neck. Why? Because fuck it’s hot and he wanted to taste Kylo while he was still inside him.

 

Hux felt his orgasm start in the back of his mind. Somewhere he remembered thinking “stop” but it was too late. He started moaning in the most terrible way, a full octave above his regular speaking voice. Absolutely embarrassing. His sweat-slick hips started thrusting upward almost out of his control. His heels dug into the floor desperately seeking purchase. But the shiny uniform pair he was wearing did him no favors.

 

Kylo leaned back so he could finish on his own chest. He knew the rules. Hux watched Kylo sit on his heels and stroke himself until he reached his own completion. Kylo held his cock at such an angle that he could catch most of his come on his own stomach. Fuck that was so hot. Why was that so hot? It was particularly airborne today. Made for a farther, more unpredictable shot. Good on you for staying hydrated.

 

Hux settled against the cold durasteel floor completely depraved. He was wet, and only some of it was sweat. He probably smelled like sweat. Hopefully he only smelled like sweat. There was no way he was presentable now. They were supposed to meet an important diplomat in a few hours. This mission was already fucked. 

 

Kylo stood up to clean off. It gave Hux time to stare up at the ceiling. How had this happened? When did he get a boyfriend? Why did they continue to feel lust in their place of business?

 

Hux recalled a heated conversation with Kylo a few cycles earlier. Every conversation with Kylo was heated, but this one was extra. It ended when Hux and Kylo agreed that Hux would handle the diplomatic part of the mission while Kylo led the troops into the ice caves to locate and destroy the rebels. Nobody wanted to go to the ice planet, but Kylo had made a spirited argument about why he personally should be exempt from the mission. He didn’t like the cold. Not for any actual reason. Nobody likes being cold. But Kylo really wanted a pass from visiting the ice planet.

 

Hux insisted that it was unacceptable. They argued. Kylo took Millicent into the other room and pretended to sleep on the couch. Hux returned to bring back Millicent to his bed. 

 

“No child should have to suffer because her parents are immature,” he had said. He was sorry that she had to see them act this way. But also, Hux hoped that Millicent would side with him. 

 

They hadn’t spoken until Kylo apologized and then they plowed on the floor of the command shuttle just now. This was his life now. 

 

In the most unfair way, Hux realized he had done all the worst things people ever accused him of. He was sleeping with the Supreme Leader. He was banging his superior (technically, although not functionally his superior). Hux couldn’t help but think of early accusations from his father regarding his sexual orientation. Not for nothing, but Hux’s name would be written into history forever. So fuck you dad. 

 

Hux and Kylo did the song and dance on the ice planet. Lots of pictures with the alien royal family. Long speeches. Hux would stay at the hot springs palace of the weird antler aliens while Kylo went on a rebel hunting mission for a few days. He was bringing a considerable force with him so maybe it would be over quickly. 

 

Kylo was not convinced, “It would go faster if it was just me”. 

 

“Yes but think of the golden opportunity for propaganda,” Hux was only pretending to be sarcastic. “The Supreme Leader, lightsaber in hand, trekking through a frozen tundra to destroy the rebel army.”

 

Kylo loved being told how special he was. How he was important. Hux watched his face for the subtle clues that on some level, he actually believed his own hype. 

 

“I want a prize when I get back,” said Kylo, a child. 

 

Hux looked around the fancy suite he was put up in. No one was in sight (didn’t mean they weren’t listening). He checked the back bedroom and out on the hot spring patio. Clear. 

 

Hux crossed his hands behind his back. “I might consider a request from the Supreme Leader upon his return from a successful mission.”

 

“Anything?” Kylo licked his lips maybe unintentionally. 

 

“No,” Hux smirked. “I am the Lord Grand Marshal of the First Order. You should be so lucky to get anything from me. But I would consider a request from a victorious war hero.”

 

Kylo pulled him closer, and let his hands linger above his waist. Holy shit this boy is so strong. So hot. “I want to be inside you,” Kylo whispered. 

 

Yes 100% absolutely. “Perhaps,” Hux smiled. “Assuming the Supreme Leader completes the mission heroically. With lots of pictures for the propaganda team.”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes. He hated that shit. 

 

Hux knew his weakness. He knew that Kylo watched holoporn while Hux was on the bridge. Hux had even watched a few of them for research purposes. (Research alone at his desk with a bottle of lotion.) He could get through a lot because most of the videos were 5-10 minutes long. Kylo watched the shitty free videos. 

 

“I’ll let you do something from one of those videos you like,” said Hux. Ren looked back at him a little surprised but mostly excited. Hux nodded. He knew. He went through his internet history. He knew Kylo better than he knew himself. 

 

Despite considerable protestations Kylo Ren found his commitment somewhere and left soon after.

 

~~~~~

 

That night Hux slept alone for the first time in a long time. Like a month or so. He realized it was going to only become more difficult to pretend like he was uninterested in a relationship he obviously had a lot of stake in. He missed having someone in bed with him. He missed Kylo Ren.

 

Mitaka came to his suite early the next morning for a briefing before a conference with the other generals. It was a meeting about a meeting.Fuck yeah bureaucracy. At least there was free caf. 

 

“General consensus among intelligence officers suggests that the elites may be aiding the Resistance. We believe they will help them get off planet before our troops arrive,” Mitaka said. 

 

“Well time is against them,” said Hux. “Do we know who is helping them?” 

 

Mitaka scrolled through his datapad. “Merchants, politicians, even members of the royal family. It runs the gamut”.

 

Which explains why a diplomatic solution was preferable. “I miss the days when blowing up a whole planet was still an option”.

 

Mitaka was clearly disturbed by that comment but whatever. “I believe that the Generals are expecting a diplomatic solution, Sir”. 

 

Obviously. “Who do we have on the ground?” 

 

Mitaka gave him a #look. Like: really? “Sir, you are the diplomatic option. The Grand Marshal is the highest diplomat in the First Order.”

 

Hux had made that up like two weeks ago, after he plowed Kylo Ren in the childhood bedroom of the sole survivor of a rebel outpost. With the rebel leader in the room. There was a lot going on in this time of his life. 

 

“Thank you for remembering, Lieutenant.” 

 

Mitaka nodded. 

 

Well whatever. Diplomacy time. “Just tell me which unwashed xeno I have to talk to.”

 

The slur was not lost on Mitaka. “Actually sir, the prime minister is a human. He will negotiate on behalf of the royal family,” he passed Hux his datapad. 

 

It showed a profile of an attractive opportunist-type looking hipster with round glasses and tasteful scruff. Someone Hux might have banged in his latino phase. But that was a long time ago. Like, six months at least. 

 

“Prime Minister Dameron,” Hux said it out loud so he could practice screaming it later. Wait. No. 

 

“Intelligence suggests he is the mastermind behind efforts to extract the rebels from the planet,” Mitaka took his datapad back. 

 

Hux composed himself behind a cup of caf. “Intelligence suggests?”

 

“Reports are conclusive,” said Mitaka. 

 

Hm. What’s the play? “I’ll talk with him. At the very least I can distract him while our troops head out there.”

 

“Very well, Sir. They should arrive in 12 standard hours,” Mitaka collected his things. This was a good meeting. Meetings were always best with fewer people. 

 

The meeting with Hux’s generals would not be nearly as enjoyable. For starters, everyone hated his guts. And that was the least of it. He listened to at least an hour of various posturing veiled as collaboration. In the end they concluded that the Prime Minister should be respectfully dealt with, only for diplomacy’s sake. None of the rebels should make it off planet. In the meantime lets focus on what the order does best, blowing shit up with the walkers. Go team. 

 

Hux took some time to himself because he fucking deserved it and also when Kylo Ren got back they were totally gonna plow. Huge event. Huge. Tremendous. He contemplated this in the private hot springs attached to his personal suite. Just for a few hours, he would take time to himself. He remained responsible and made sure that Mitaka was given instructions to come get him before their meeting with the Prime Minister. The hot water and steam were so calming he might even fall asleep. Splendid. He leaned his head back and took a deep breath of the refreshing steamy air. 

 

“Good afternoon,” said a voice through the mist. 

 

Hux went from 0 to 100. He was naked, unarmed, in a fucking hot spring on an ice planet. How could he have been so careless? He moved to cover himself but, with what? This was supposed to be his private hot spring so what the fuck?

 

A figure emerged through the mist. Poe Dameron was already in the hot spring, also nude, also way more attractive without the goofy glasses from the photo. He had attractive chest hair and this super sultry look in his eyes. Oh fuck oh fuck Hux looked around for a towel or something he could cover himself with. 

 

“Don’t be embarrassed, Grand Marshal. The hot springs on this planet are usually nude,” said Poe. As he spoke, Hux thought he recognized his voice from somewhere. Maybe.The voice was familiar but he was terrible with names and worse with faces. 

 

“Prime Minister Dameron, I presume,” Act. Natural. Hux couldn’t bring himself to fight the urge to cover himself. “Is this how business is typically conducted on this planet?”

 

“Do you mean in the nude?”

 

“By surprise,” Hux felt himself flush. Curse his light complexion. 

 

Poe seemed entertained. “It’s unconventional. I wanted to meet with you alone and I figured this was my only chance.”

 

His accent was similar to Ren’s. Was he from the New Republic as well? “I would be more amenable to a discussion if I could put on some clothes.”

 

“Alright. Should I stay like this?” Poe gestured to his body and Hux didn’t dare move his eyes downward. He was afraid of what he might find. He was afraid he might like it. 

 

Poe kept Hux in eye contact for a few uncomfortable seconds. “I’ll grab you a robe.”

 

Poe walked so close to Hux that they nearly touched. Hux made an effort to avert his eyes while Poe climbed out of the hot springs. Instead he made notes on what he saw in his peripheral vision: fit, dark body hair but very tasteful, strong legs, large hands, large-

 

“Grand Marshal-“ Hux looked behind him to see Poe holding out a robe for him. Thank god he wasn’t nude. Hux realized his self-control in these areas was probably weak because he wasn’t used to being seduced. Which was probably what was happening here. 

 

They retired inside to the lounge in Hux’s suite. A droid brought hot cups of tea. It would have been perfect except for the naked rebel sympathizer lounging on the sofa across from him. 

 

Hux tucked his robe so that it covered as much of his body as possible. Thank god he was slim. He looked across the couch where Poe lay sprawled out, the front of his robe dangerously hanging open. 

 

“What is— What is the important thing you erh. Wanted to discuss?” Hux took a sip of his tea to cover how brutally uncomfortable he was. In the end Prime Minister Dameron didn’t really present anything for discussion that warranted his intrusion. They engaged in small talk about what the weather was like and where they were from. Poe confirmed that yes, he was originally from the New Republic. But then Poe asked how he knew. 

 

“Your accent reminds me of someone,” Hux smiled. Poe insisted, but Hux refused to give more information. 

 

“I can probably guess,” Poe sat up to take a sip of his tea.

 

“You probably can’t,” said Hux. “But you seem very confident for someone I’ve just met, so I’ll entertain a guess.”

 

Poe seemed very confident. “What do I get if I win?”

 

This was dangerous territory. “What do you want?”

 

“You know what I want. If you haven’t figured it out already,” Poe got a little more serious. But only a little. Hux was no longer sure he knew what this was about. 

 

“Have we met before?” Hux asked. 

 

Poe nodded, “Not in person, per se. We have exchanged- communications”. Poe seemed to know what he was talking about which was great! Because Hux had no idea. 

 

“Will you tell me? If I win?” Hux asked. He was doing his best tit-for-tat. But diplomacy had never been his strong suit. 

 

“Tell you what?” Poe feigned ignorance. 

 

“Tell me where the rebels are hiding,” Hux said. Time to ratchet up the stakes. This was never about seducing him. No one would ever seduce him because he was ugly, and terrible, and no one wanted him. How dare he think otherwise. Renewed in his neurosis Hux felt himself get angry. 

 

Poe looked for the exits. Which he probably already knew. “And if I win? Will you give me the frequency to the First Order troops so I can buy my guys some time?”

 

The nerve. Unbelievable. Hux felt his face twist with all that anger he kept inside. “No-“

 

“Alright! Alright! Let me pick something else!-“

 

“No!” Hux was over it. He was over this stupid game where everybody got to mess with him. “The rebels are going to be crushed like the trash they are!”

 

Hux was beginning to suspect that maybe Poe Dameron wasn’t a real Prime Minister. Maybe the intelligence was false. Maybe he was being played from the beginning. 

 

Poe sighed. “Welp.”

 

Hux was so angry. His uncontrollable rage was one reason he would make for a terrible force user. Or a great one. He realized he probably looked super ridiculous sitting in a robe being hella pissed off. He needed an outlet. 

 

“I’m gonna take off now,” Poe stood in the robe and moved towards the hot spring, walking backwards to keep on eye on Hux but also to savor the pure rage that played across his face. As he walked slowly backward, Hux stood up and moved for his comm. Poe got a little spooked and ran into the sliding door. 

 

“Lieutenant I require security immediately in my room-“ Hux spoke into the comm while making eye contact with Poe. 

 

Poe fumbled with the door. “Grand Marshal, until next time.”

 

Hux looked up from his comm. “I doubt there will be a next time”.

 

Poe slid the door open. “Give Kylo Ren my best. Love that guy. Sorry I missed him”.

 

Poe faded into the mist. Security showed up seconds after but Hux expected that Dameron had escaped. He was going to eviserate the intelligence team. While security officers searched his room, Hux sent out a meeting invitation to the heads of intelligence. The meeting title simply read “Meeting with GM Hux”. No subject so that they knew they were in trouble. Good. Let them stew for the chaos they caused. 

 

Hux had been so overwhelmed he forgot that he was naked in a robe. 

 

“Sir,” Mitaka was the one who got to tell him. “Security has cleared your room. There are no- resistance er- rebels in your room.”

 

Mitaka had a terrible bedside manner. Hux only got angrier. “Great. Please make sure they check under the bed and in the closet as well.”

 

Mitaka moved to actually relay that order. Hux stopped him. 

 

“Sir, I only bring it up because,” Mitaka averted his eyes. “In case you wanted to get dressed.”

 

Hux realized he was naked. And an entire security team had seen him naked. Fine. He could put them all through an airlock later. 

 

“All I want to do,” Hux steeled himself. “Is kill every last rebel on this planet and personally witness Poe Dameron die in a very painful, very public, way.” Hux stormed off to his room to regain whatever shreds of dignity he could manage to patch together. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time you leave a comment, I read it and it fills me with joy in my heart.


	4. The Apple Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux rolled his eyes. “Don’t talk to me like one of the boys in your holos”. Hux peeled off his pants and threw them on the floor with a wet “smack” for dramatic effect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is based off of fraternity/ sorority hazing rituals (rumored) in my day. so TW for that I guess. 
> 
> I'm gonna try to update 1x a week from here on out

Kylo Ren had to give himself something to do to stop from going insane in his new role as Supreme Leader. No one had said it outright, but he was no longer needed on military campaigns and he definitely wasn’t cut out for diplomacy. Nobody really understood the force so they had no suggestions on practical applications for his abilities. He had to invent a role for himself. 

 

He began by recruiting 10 stormtroopers into a fraternity. He hadn’t come up with a name for them yet. He told everyone that this would be an elite “strike team”. Like the knights of Ren, but for stormtroopers. It would give everyone else something to aspire to. Kylo Ren wanted to feel like the “Master of the Knights of Ren” again. He also wanted an outlet for all the unprocessed rage generated during this period of transition in his life. It worked out pretty well. Officers were relieved because they could return to the jobs they actually were meant to do instead of trying to incorporate the Supreme Leader into their military campaigns.

 

So far the pledges hadn’t done any actual “training”. That changed when they set out to find the rebel base on the ice planet. He explained to the recruits that they were just “pledges” until their training was complete and then they could join the knights. A lie. As a “Pledge Master”, Kylo Ren proved immediately to be ruthless and authoritarian. As a Pledge Master should be.

 

A few times a day, Kylo Ren would stage a public spectacle where the pledges would be asked to do something stupid for the benefit of the rest of the forces. To say that the officers were “okay” with this was not entirely correct. They loved it. They brought liquor rations for the troops to encourage it because what’s better for morale than getting drunk and watching a bunch of idiots engage in reckless and potentially harmful behavior? It’s why most of them joined the First Order. 

 

Shortly before they reached the rebels Kylo pulled out all the stops. He needed this one to be a winner. The troops expected as much and showed up ready to watch some shit go down. 

 

Kylo Ren introduced the “challenge” with uncharacteristic statesmanship: “Tonight, the pledges of the Knights of Ren will undertake a sacred challenge.”

 

Officers and troopers alike leaned forward in anticipation. This was gonna be good. 

 

“I call this- the Apple challenge!” Kylo dramatically gestured to the pledges, who looked at each other with fear in their eyes. And confusion. They had been instructed to sit at a table “ready for dinner” but there was no dinner. And no apples. 

 

“In front of you is an onion,” Kylo smiled. Members of the crowd snickered as they put together what was the “Apple challenge”. 

 

“Each of you have an onion. There are many like it, but this one is yours. You must eat the whole onion, like an apple!”

 

The jeering started immediately. Drinks were passed around. 

 

“Can we peel it first?” asked one of the pledges. 

 

Kylo considered this. One of the officers got up to consult. “Yes, you may peel the onion,” Kylo decided. 

 

“Begin!”

 

The whole concept was funny before it even started. The crew erupted in laughter. It was a sight to be seen. The pledges were furiously peeling their onions.As the pledges started biting into the “apples”, their eyes clouded with tears and snot dripped down their face. Some of the troops were already in stitches before the blinding strong sulfur smell reached the front of the crowd. The other crew members laughed until some of them just started screaming. Kylo felt comfortable enough to smile while he watched one of the pledges cough through the snot and tears. They soldiered on, like they were trying to impress somebody (they were).

 

Kylo was in this for the long haul. Every morning he roused the pledges to do a new type of physical exercise. He made sure they got an extra portion at meals to sustain them through all the dumb shit he made them do. If there was a job that required climbing, crawling, or holding your breath the pledges were automatically enlisted. The officers loved the help and the pledges were trauma bonding as the “training” became more difficult. Like when Kylo Ren instructed them to hang off the side of the walkers to scrape the ice off the exhaust vents. 

 

“Is that a pack of hawks?!” shouted one of the pledges. 

 

“They’re huge! Are those- condors???”

 

Kylo Ren was seated inside “supervising” while also lightly meditating on the rebel base. He could tell they were already evacuating the planet. It was too late. 

 

“They’re huge!”

 

“They’re coming this way! Supreme Leader- er- Sir!”

 

Ugh so rude. “What do the wings look like?” Kylo shouted. 

 

There was commotion from the hatch to the outside. “Really really big! Claws large enough to carry a man- oh my god!”

 

More commotion. “Get inside, then,” said Kylo. The rebel base would be abandoned when they got there. It was too late to turn the war party around. Maybe they could salvage some intel from the abandoned structures? Something to make this a “win”. 

 

Kylo was trying not to yell at the pledges unnecessarily. It was hard when they all came clambering in through the hatch to escape the pack of carniverous birds. 

 

They reassembled in front of Kylo, apologetic. It didn’t matter. Later he would make them fistfight each other while blindfolded. That spectacle would prove to be one of the more entertaining challenges to watch. Troopers and officers gathered to place bets with each other and watch. And get drunk. Good. Tomorrow they would find the empty rebel base and then have to return back to the city empty-handed. But Hux was in the city. So there was that. 

 

Poor Hux. He would probably take this personally. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hux was holding court in his suite with all his intelligence officers. The meeting was a thinly veiled plot to decide whose fault it should be that the rebels got away. The meeting had been disguised under the heading “Meeting with GM Hux”. Hux probably thought this was clever but Kylo could read the waves of fear, frustration, and trepidation coming off the intelligence officers.

 

Hux did his best to stand composed while he berated the team. “This was a complete waste of time!” he shouted. “The rebels have escaped the planet, and we have no actionable intelligence!”

 

One of the officers spoke up “Sir, if I may-“

 

“You may not!” Hux interrupted. 

 

The failure with Dameron hung in the air. Hux was short-sighed and not nearly as deadly as he thought he was. That monomolecular blade was more useful for cutting charcueterie than any actual combat. Kylo didn’t have the full details but he knew that Dameron infiltrated Hux’s suite posing as a Prime Minister. Classic Dameron.

 

It would be funnier if it happened to someone else, but this was his boyfriend. Kylo was fiercely protective of Hux and wanted to catch Dameron and crush his skull, sure. But Hux was even more upset about it than Kylo was. When Kylo heard about it he knew Hux would be over-compensating for the perceived embarassment of being manipulated by a rebel operative. Maybe there was something he wasn’t disclosing. Maybe Hux was just struggling to keep his self-esteem separate from his work. Again. 

 

“Where are the Rebels hiding?” Hux asked. 

 

The Officers looked at each other, confused. Oh this was a serious question? 

 

Nobody answered. 

 

Hux was getting angry and maybe a little hard. “No wonder we can’t catch the Resistance! My Officers are imbeciles! I should have you all shot for treason!” 

 

His officers looked into Hux’s face, which had flushed from screaming. This was like not even a real meeting anymore. 

 

There was a crash in the background. It was Kylo Ren, dropping his glass of water on the stones beside the hot springs. Because this whole meeting was taking place in the hot springs in Hux’s private chambers. And Kylo was spending the meeting naked, soaking in the spring.

 

Kylo Ren wanted to relax but Hux refused to let him do so alone, after what had transpired with Dameron. Out of a misplaced desire to protect him Hux moved the whole meeting outside. So he could “supervise” Kylo and chastise his staff at the same time. Give both his full attention. 

 

Not surprisingly Hux leapt to attention to assist Kylo after the crash. “Are you alright, Kylo- Supreme Leader?” He patted at Kylo’s outstretched hand like a concerned mother cat. Hux examined the arm for any signs of damage to his sweet, sweet baby.

 

The Officers exhaled as they observed Hux’s bloodlust fade and be replaced by a caring, soothing, even affectionate tone towards the Supreme Leader. “Oh, you broke your glass? Don’t move I’ll call a service droid to come clean this up. It’s all alright. It will be okay,” Hux summoned a service droid and gently kissed Kylo’s open palm.

 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Kylo lied. 

 

Nobody talked about it, but everyone understood why the Supreme Leader insisted on staying close to the Grand Marshal. His presence had a calming effect on Hux, which was notable. It was the only reason the Officers put up with so much bullshit from Hux. They knew that if Kylo was around Hux would “ease up”. I mean who even cared what they did in private. 

 

“Grand Marshal,” said Kylo. “If none of your Officers have actionable intelligence about the Resistance I would like to ask that you postpone this meeting. I just got back from that campaign out into the tundra and- I really just want to relax?”

 

Hux nodded. “Yes, yes of course!” Hux gently cradled Kylo’s head in his gloved hands. 

 

Hux returned his attention to his intelligence officers. He changed his tone of voice back into a professional one: “Gentlemen, sorry for the interruption.”

 

His Officers were grateful for it. “Maybe we should adjourn the meeting? I don’t want to disturb the Supreme Leader,” said one Officer. 

 

“Better to reconvene when everyone has a chance to rest,” said another. 

 

Hux considered it. “Very well then, thank you for being so accommodating.”

 

The Officers stood up, ready to get out of there before the soothing effects of the Supreme Leader wore off. 

 

Kylo suspected that the Intelligence Officers were idiots. He was waiting for the right time to put them in their place. I mean seriously. How had they not found the Resistance yet? Once again Kylo felt like the whole Resistance could be crushed if only he could go after them by himself. 

 

Now Kylo was alone with Hux in the hot spring. Unfortunately Hux was a man of chivalry and respect. He was playing coy in front of his Officers. Kylo would have to break his resolve. Hux had previously warned him to keep it appropriate in front of the “Staff”. But the more someone tells you not to do something the more you want to do it. He needed to get Hux out of that uniform and into bed. This shouldn’t be too difficult.

 

“Why don’t you get into the hot springs with me?” Kylo asked. So smooth, so subtle. Brilliant execution. Flawless. 

 

“No,” said Hux.

 

Alright, a small setback. “Please?” Kylo pursued a different angle. “What if there are more rebels hiding out here? I need someone strong to protect me.”

 

“I doubt there are any more naked rebels hiding out in our hot springs,” Hux jested. Kylo heard him fixing a drink. 

 

But also. “Wait what?” Kylo asked. “Naked rebels? Nobody said anything about naked rebels.”

 

Hux sighed. He approached the edge of the spring and began to take off his boots while dramatically telling the story like the queen he is. There were embellishments about Hux’s potential combat and self-defense strategies. Hux soaked his feet in the water next to Kylo. 

  
This changed everything. What the fuck. “Was he hot?” Kylo asked. 

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You don’t have to answer. I’ve met Poe Dameron. That guy fucks. Goddamnit! Did you sleep with him?”

 

Kylo tried to desperately control his force skills but he was really fucking angry. Hux’s whiskey glass began to shake. A crack burst in the side. “Christ, Kylo. Relax o ye of little faith. We barely talked. I kicked him out after I found out he was a rebel.”

 

But the doubt was still there. “Let me read your mind. Just so I can be sure!”

 

“Absolutely not. You need to trust me or this relationship is never going to work! I would never do something like that,” Hux placed his hand on Kylo’s back and rubbed soothing circles to calm him. Like “please don’t read my mind” circles. It was very nice. Kylo took a moment to close his eyes and work on some of those deep-breathing techniques he was supposed to be trying. 

 

After a moment, Kylo spoke again but in a calmer more constructive way. “Do you still want me?”

 

“Of course!” Hux spoke without hesitation. 

 

“Even though the mission failed and I am a terrible Supreme Leader?” Kylo whined. 

 

“Not if you are going to whine like that. I want the big, strong, capable jedi-killing Kylo I know. Where did he go?”

 

That was basically permission. Kylo grabbed Hux and dragged him into the hot spring. Hux submerged under the water and resurfaced wet and angry. Kylo didn’t give him the chance for a clever comment. Instead, he pulled him in for a kiss. Hux was so much hotter when he was wet. 

 

Hux pulled away “This uniform was new, you know.”

 

“I’ll buy you new ones,” Kylo realized he could buy whatever he wanted. So he ripped open the front Hux’s uniform jacket, pulling the seams until they snapped. God this was so hot. “I want to fuck you so bad” Kylo grabbed Hux’s ass. 

 

Hux kissed Kylo’s jawline. “Yes, please,” he whispered. “But not here. There’s a huge bed inside that I’ve been waiting to christen.”

 

Kylo didn’t know what that meant but um definitely. He put his face in Hux’s chest first. He made the best noises when you licked at his pecs. If you bit slowly at his nipples for long enough he actually started to moan. Kylo proceeded until he felt Hux’s still gloved hands in his scalp. 

 

“Kylo! Enough. Let’s get out of here,” Hux barked. 

 

Yes daddy. Kylo scumped Hux up out of the Hot spring. 

 

Kylo hadn’t seen the bedroom yet. He had just returned from a pointless mission into the tundra and obviously had better things to do. He was surprised to see a lavishly decorated room with what looked like rose petals all over the bed? It had been- well years since he had slept in a bed so big. Let alone a bed with like 10 extra pillows and a real comforter. And rose petals. And now he got to sleep in one? With Hux? Oh damn. 

 

Hux peeled off his wet clothes. This was probably somebody’s fetish, but not Kylo’s. Sorry fam. Hux stood next to the bed trying to dry off so that they could get to the main event. 

 

“Can I take a sonic? Briefly?” Hux asked.

 

“No,” Kylo decided. “I need you on the bed, now. On my dick.”

 

Hux rolled his eyes. “Don’t talk to me like one of the boys in your holos”. Hux peeled off his pants and threw them on the floor with a wet “smack” for dramatic effect. 

 

Kylo climbed on the bed with the intense nervous energy of someone ready to lose their virginity. It was finally happening. He had a vague idea of what he was doing, but I mean, can you ever? Stick to the plan. Play it cool, just make sure Hux has a good time. 

 

Hux spread Kylo’s legs apart, then hungrily eyed his D. 

 

“I thought I was going to ‘give you my virginity’? Like we discussed?” Kylo asked. 

 

“Wrong,” there was a sparkle in Hux’s eye. Like a hungry bantha. Or any kind of threatening animal about to consume it’s prey. “You’re not ‘giving’ me anything. I’m going to take it.”

 

Which was about the hottest thing Kylo ever heard. Despite their size difference he effectively felt small and vulnerable. Powerless, but in a consensual way. 

 

Hux started by fetching the lube to work himself open. Kylo watched while in a trance. This was so fucking hot. It was the kind of thing he watched on the internet in private. Now he was watching Hux do it live. This particular act was something he now had first hand experience with. He could help, even! Kylo placed his hand over Hux’s. 

 

“Please, let me try,” he said “I’ll go slow, just like you do with me.”

 

It was so sweet, Hux relented and allowed it. “Make sure you use enough of that stuff, your fingers are bigger than mine.”

 

They were bigger. But in the best possible way. Kylo focused on Hux’s breathing while he worked him open. He remembered that Hux sometimes used his other hand to rub his spine or inside his thighs, which felt really nice. So Kylo gave it a try. Hux responded by leaning back and pushing against his fingers. 

 

“Will you let me know when you- um. When you want to-“ Kylo couldn’t even say it out loud.

 

“Eager, aren’t we?” Hux teased. Okay, yes obviously. Kylo was looking forward to more than just playing with Hux’s ass. Especially now that he was inside the aformentioned ass with his fingers he wanted to get in there properly. Like, with his cock. 

 

Hux was hard and wet when he finally relented and let Kylo know that he, the majestic pillow prince, was now ready for the dicking that was promised. Praise

 

“Get on your back,” Hux demanded. And honestly at this point Kylo would have done anything for him. Kylo lay on his back on the bed and worked on getting himself to full hardness. His head was a rush of thoughts about “dont embarrass yourself” and “stick to the game plan”. Hux straddled Kylo’s hips so he could properly devour the undivided attention fixated on him. He consumed Kylo’s nervous energy while grinding his ass against Kylo’s hard cock. Really aggressively. 

 

He didn’t wait for Kylo to make a move. Hux lined up with Kylo’s cock and slowly started working him inside. Slowly, like really slowly. When the head had almost breached the inner wall of muscle he stopped to take in the mess of a man below him. 

 

Kylo was barely keeping it together. “Is- Is everything okay? We can. We- we can stop. If you wantttt”. Great job Kylo play it real cool like a cool chill guy gonna have a great time nice job.

 

Hux started teasing more aggressively until his ass was flush against Kylo’s hips. Then he started moving. Kylo was not prepared for this. Being inside was even better than he thought it would be. Every time Hux pulled out, the underside of Kylo’s dick rubbed against the thick muscle and. it. felt. so. good. And everything was so hot? The head of his cock was pressing up against the hot, wet, inside of Hux. It was crazy! So much for playing it cool. He couldn’t play at anything right now.

 

“You’re doing well,” Hux spoke as he flipped sweat-soaked hair out of his face. His skin glistened with sweat from workin that D so hard. 

 

Kylo couldn’t even respond. He readjusted his grip on Hux’s hips. 

 

“You are lasting longer than I thought you would,” said Hux. 

 

“I just want to make you feel good.”

 

Hux laughed. “Don’t worry about that.”

 

Kylo knew from experience that he had to be hitting that spot on the inside. He knew how to find his now (thanks to the exhaustive, extensive training from Grand Marshal Hux). He did not know how to find it inside someone else. Maybe Hux could help him find it?

 

“How do I hit your spot? You know the one,” Kylo smiled. 

 

Hux stopped. He seemed impressed. maybe? “Really?”

 

“Yeah, really.”

 

“I always hit it from the back,” Hux flipped himself around while still mounted in a move that betrayed his slutty skills. He looked over his shoulder at Kylo. Then he started really going for it. The angle was insane. The way that his cock was being aggressively shooketh by Hux was completely unreal. To make it even more outrageous Kylo could actually watch himself going in and out of Hux. He tried to focus on the position of his cock inside Hux so he could learn where that sweet special spot was. When Hux started groaning and grabbing between his legs Kylo figured he found it. 

 

“I guess that’s it,” Kylo whispered. He sat up to get a better view of what was going on with Hux. He was pushing his hips back against Kylo’s body, spearing himself on Kylo’s cock. He was using Kylo like an inanimate object to fuck himself with while he jerked his cock. Kylo was pretty okay with it. Really pretty okay. 

 

Time for some of that dirty talk we practiced in our head before hand. “Yeah,” Kylo breathed. “Get it”.

 

Alright first try no big deal. Hux didn’t seem to respond. He was getting himself off which took 110% concentration. Hux was slamming his hips back so hard Kylo was watching the muscles on his legs shake. I mean he was really getting after it. 

 

Getting after it in a way that was about to make Kylo come. It felt like the tip of his cock was being sucked and dragged at the same time. Shit. This was bad. Kylo threw his head back.

 

“You’re gonna make me come like this,” Kylo squeaked through closed eyes. 

 

Hux didn’t offer an answer, instead he opted for a tangential suggestion: “You can come inside if you want. I think you’ll really like it”.

 

Wow Hux was thinking about him? How thoughtful. How polite. 10/10 solid bro. Also, holy fucking shit full steam ahead. Kylo groaned and let his abs tighten. He felt his load shoot into Hux. It made everything hot and slippery. He watched the veins in his cock move while he completely emptied everything. Shortly after, Hux started up with a squealing sound that communicated a kind of unbridled ecstacy. He finished and collapsed forward, away from Kylo. 

 

Kylo didn’t dare move. He was dizzy, disoriented, and he wasn’t sure what the protocol was for pulling out? 

 

Hux took care of that. “There’s so much,” he said, sitting up on to his knees. Come was streaking down his thighs and it was so deliciously unreal. 

 

Kylo interpreted this as a critique. He fucked up. Oh my god he embarrassed himself in front of Hux. “I’m sorry!”

 

“Don’t apologize, you did great,” Hux straddled Kylo’s hips to fully absorb the man that he had destroyed. When he had thouroughly consumed Kylo body and soul he relaxed back on the bed with a thump. His work here was done. 

 

“I’m going to get in the shower,” Hux announced after several moments. “Are you hungry? I’m hungry.”

 

Kylo tried to think about it. “Sure. I can get the pledges to bring us a pizza?”

 

“Pledges?”

 

Oh shit. Kylo had to explain how he had subverted Hux’s clean system of discipline in order to create entertainment for himself. Ugh he was gonna be so pissed. 

 

To his surprise Hux was decidedly not pissed. He seemed entertained. “You really made them eat a whole onion? That’s brilliant.”

 

“So it’s settled, then. Pizza for dinner?” Kylo leaned towards Hux. If he was okay with it they could get in the shower before food showed up. 

 

“Whatever you want,” Hux moved towards the fresher. “You coming?”

 

Hell yes!

 

What the two did not account for was possible espionage enacted by Dameron while he was in Hux’s suite. Did he download any top secret files? Install monitoring devices (audio/visual)? I mean who even cares. That was a project for another day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as ever, your kudos and comments are much appreciated. I read every one of them and cherish them in my heart


	5. Jungle Boogie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If his father could see him now on a jungle planet wearing sunglasses with his sleeves (god forbid) rolled up, drinking cheap liquor on the job, he would probably be smacked around. But his new Daddy didn’t even need hands to hit people, so fuck you Brendol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has non consensual voyeurism, poor spelling, worse grammar, and objectification of male genitalia. This was not beta-d because I have no friends and asking someone to read your gay star wars fanfiction is a big ask

Hux looked down at the message on his datapad. What a fucking mess.

>>Kylo: I miss you :(

>>Hux: I miss you too.

>>Kylo: So much

>>Kylo: I want this campaign to be over >:((((

>>Kylo: I want to be inside you again…

  


Should he just let him keep typing? Like, to see what kind of filth he comes up with next? It’s probably going to escalate. He’s definitely turning himself on while he writes this.

  


The Grand Marshal swatted a flying insect of some kind that was buzzing around his head. If today was anything like yesterday he would be swarmed by mid-day. This was the jungle, after all. It wasn’t even 10 am and he had already rolled up his shirt sleeves like a degenerate. At least he was in a private command tent where no one could judge him. But, still. This was not the place for rolling up your sleeves and definitely not for sexting your boyfriend.

  


Kylo was just going to work himself up into a sex-crazed frenzy. That was unacceptable. Hux should stop him.

  


>>Hux: I can tell you’re working yourself up right now.

  


Yes.  Just go ahead and encourage him. Soon enough he’ll be sending you photos of that ridiculous oversize cock jutting out of his perfect body...

  


>>Kylo: Haha maybe

>>Kylo: ;)

  


Boys are the absolute worst. Hux took a look around the command tent. Alright if we're doing this let's do it right. He stayed quiet to judge whether anyone was within immediate earshot. Nope. Just you, Grand Marshal. And your boyfriend.

  


>>Hux: Tell me what you’re thinking about right now.

  


There was at least an hour until the command meeting. No one would bother him until then. Not even Mitaka.

  


>>Kylo: You

>>Kylo: Watching you ride me

>>Kylo: You are so kriffing beautiful

  


Hux felt his blood turn a little warmer. "Ride me". Like Kylo was a kriffing animal and he was the Master. Did he look noble while he rode his steed? Kriff yeah. Was he flushing? Oh my god. Hux realized he was working himself up! He was totally turned on right now! He was totally thinking about banging Kylo Ren. About plowing so hard he gets a concussion or straining his neck from looking back over his shoulder for so long. He rolled his shoulders and confirmed that yes, his neck was still a little stiff. No doggy for a while. 

  


>>Hux: Thank you.

>>Kylo: Fuck

>>Kylo: You’re so hot

>>Kylo: So much I wanna do with you.

>>Hux: You watch too many holos.

>>Kylo: No.

>>Kylo: Haven’t watched any since I got planetside.

>>Kylo: Maybe you could give me something else to watch >;)

  


Hux wasn’t sure that was a real emoji. But all the same. Kylo watched the exact perfect amount of holos to inspire the kind of crazed sex Hux wanted to be having. Did Kylo think about him while he watched those things? Did he think about Hux being humiliated and dominated by the hunky holoporn stars? This chat was going places, but Hux knew better than to send nudes while they were on this frequency. 

  


>>Hux: I don’t do that sort of thing.

>>Kylo: :( You got me all worked up for nothing.

>>Hux: Sorry. You got yourself all worked up.

  


Hux felt the pressure building in his groin. He gently brushed his hand between his legs, experimenting with just how desperate he was getting. He wasn’t there yet, but he was close.

  


<<Incoming video call from K. Ren>>

  


That would get him there. Hux accepted the call. It was Kylo, in his tent, shirtless. Hux watched him run a hand through his hair. Like, ‘no big deal. Not gonna jerk off on video chat.’

  


Sure, jan.

  


“Show it to me,” demanded Hux.

  


Ren set his datapad down and sat up. He unzipped the front of his pants and reached inside. Hux watched his dick spring out of his fly. Obviously Kylo had been more than a little worked up. Judging by jerky hand movements he really, really wanted this. Now that he was sufficiently hot and bothered the only solution was release. Hux let Kylo get on with it for a while. He watched as he tried to satiate himself with his hand. As he watched, Hux felt himself fall farther into his own depravity. He slipped his hand inside his pants off camera.

  


“Play with the head,” Hux whispered.

  


Kylo did as he was told because he was developing these skills thanks to Hux. Hux judged by Kylo’s reaction that he was completely, desperately, hopelessly, turned on. Kylo’s stomach tightened while he worked the precome down the shaft. His adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

  


“Hux please”, he begged.

  


“Please what?”

  


Kylo appeared to be past the point of really talking. He wanted to get off. His rock hard cock was screaming for release while his hand pumped away in frustration. He screwed up his face and groaned. It was beautiful.

  


“I want to know what you’re thinking about,” Hux tried to be stoic but he literally had one hand in his pants. So, you know.

  


Kylo adjusted the base of his cock which appeared to be uncomfortably tugging at the fly of his pants. “I’m thinking about fucking you. When you were- on. top. of. me. You were- really wet and slick-“. Kylo was trying to recreate it in his mind. He wanted to feel as good as he had felt then.

  


“You’re so good,” said Hux. “You’re going to get even better. I want to make you scream”.

  


Kylo was really going for it now. He was going to make himself come. “Hux I’m really close.”

  


Hux watched as he worked himself up to it. Good for you, Kylo.

  


Kylo groaned. “Armit-t-“ Hux decided he liked the way that Kylo stuttered his name sometimes. He ruminated on it while he watched Kylo finally get the release he needed. And make a huge mess all over his tent. Kylo never seemed ashamed of making a mess. He was rich and spoiled though, hardly a role model.

  


Before he finished, Hux moved the datapad to show his dick. You know, cinematography. Kylo objected?

 

“No! I want to see your face”

Hux stopped. “My face?”

“I like watching you when you- you know”.

Okay. Hux adjusted the datapad. “You like my face…” he thought about that and started working his hand up and down. Damn, he was more worked up than he thought? He was already so hard? Hux tried to go slow but felt himself thrusting into his hand. Unghf so good. Hux took a deep breath and came in his hand. He did his best to avoid getting any on his pants because that was a stain he definitely did not want to explain. He sank back into that depraved, shameful feeling.

“Can I comm you later?” Kylo sighed.

Jesus this kid. “Of course,” said Hux.

“I love you”.

“I love you too”. Hux couldn’t remember when they started saying it. He only remembered that it was easier to just say it back than to fight about it. He hadn’t loved anyone in a long time, maybe ever. Kylo seemed to have a looser criteria for love. He confessed his love to Millicent after only meeting her once, and she was a cat.

 

~~~~~~~~~

The present stop on the Victory Tour was an uninhabited planet covered in dense jungle. Hux was sent to obliterate the last of the rebel strongholds with troops while Ren would take a small force to take down any communication outposts. It was the kind of assignment that Hux treasured because it required only things in his immediate skillset. He had taken full authority over the troops on the planet because it offered an opportunity to refresh his skills as a tactician, something he may never have a chance to do again. 

 

The siege was textbook. The rebels held small patches of territory dug into the sides of mountains and underground bunkers. Hux waited for them to use all their firepower then broke them with superior artillery or waited to outlast their supplies. He was crushing it. 

 

Hux and his officers spent a majority of their time in the walkers monitoring the intensity and location of artillery strikes to determine their success. However, during theday there were significant lulls in activity during which an officer might find himself outside in the sweltering heat of the jungle for one reason or another. Hux had taken to wearing the standard issues sunglasses while outside. He had allowed liberal modifications to uniform standards of the officers to reflect the climate of the planet. This was on top of already liberal alterations to the standards of ethics that had begun when Ren- the Supreme Leader- “okay’d” liquor rations on the job. If his father could see him now on a jungle planet wearing sunglasses with his sleeves (god forbid) rolled up, drinking cheap liquor on the job, he would probably be smacked around. But his new Daddy didn’t even need hands to choke people, so fuck you Brendol.

 

Everyone probably knew about Hux and the Supreme Leader. It was typical gossip. However, for some reason the chatter seemed to stick around. Hux was trying to rid himself of the notion that maybe people actually cared? Like holy shit maybe he was the hot gossip. In the back of his mind the self-deprecating part of himself said that people only cared about Kylo Ren, the real hot part of the gossip. Hux pushed that thought down every time. It was nice to be popular. 

 

Hux sat back in the folding chair underneath a command tent. Troopers were rolling out artillery for the next burst, scheduled to start shortly after the planet’s sundown. It was gonna be a big one. They had been shelling this stronghold on and off for about a day and a half and Hux was sure that the rebels couldn’t last much longer. They hadn’t launched any notable resistance since yesterday. Mitaka fed him reports from the other campaigns across the planet. 

 

“The rebels in sector 003 have fled to sector 006 in hopes of joining with forces there,” said Mitaka. 

 

Hux sunk into his chair, his feet comfortably resting on a makeshift desk. “Oh no, no no. That can’t happen.”

Mitaka nodded. 

 

“Who do we have in that Sector?” 

 

“Peavey,” Mitaka sighed. 

 

No wonder it was a complete mess. Peavey was a shit show. “Comm Ren. See if he can assist”.

 

“Um- yes, sir,” Mitaka wrote it down on his datapad. But there was something in the pause that made Hux suspicious. 

 

Hux pushed him “Is there something else, Lieutenant?”

 

Mitaka nodded in the negative. Maybe he knew better than to ask. But Hux wanted him to ask! In his whole life he had never been hot gossip in a good way. It was his time, goddamnit!

 

Hux took a sip of the cheap liquor. It was so gnarly. He was gonna be fucked by the end of his shift. “You can ask me anything, Lieutenant.”

 

Mitaka looked up at the Grand Marshal. “Sir?’

 

“I know you want to ask. Go ahead. This is your chance,” Hux was eager to discuss his burgeoning popularity. He wanted it so, so bad. 

 

“I’m sorry, Sir,” said Mitaka. “I seem to be missing something. Are there other troops in Sector 6?”

 

The opportunity was lost. “Never mind! Another time.” Hux adjusted his leisure position. He had a few hours to kill, but nothing interesting to do. There was no one to talk with. The Officers were all busy doing their “jobs”, as they should be. Where did all that hot gossiping happen!? 

 

Hux determined to make some sort of event to encourage great appreciation of him and the sweet spicy love affair he was involved in. He got about halfway to a half decent idea before the shelling started on the rebel position. He couldn’t hear the thoughts in his own head and that was to say nothing of the fact that he had succeeded in drinking enough cheap liquor to sustain more than a mild buzz. He stood on the bridge of one of the walkers swaying with intoxication, which he was trying to pass off as a side effect of the shaking caused by the bombing. It was a medium successful effort. 

 

He watched the entrances to the rebel stronghold in case someone came running out. If that was the case it became kind of a game for the gunners on the walkers. Sorry boys, looks like this bunker is empty. I mean nobody was coming out of the rebel shelter on fire so they were either dead or really sneaky. Knowing the Resistance it could only be one or the other. 

 

Hux ordered troopers in to check the wreckage for any survivors. Which meant it was time to post up somewhere and see if he could fall asleep while he waited for the stormtrooper units to report back. Hux re-inhabited his position from earlier that day: a hastily erected command tent with one chair, a desk, and a half ration of liquor set up outside the tent. As he propped his feet up on the “desk” it only just occurred to him that sunglasses were now optional. Better to keep them. Easier to hide when the fatigue sets in and eyes start to close of their own accord. 

 

“Sir!” Mitaka full stopped right in front of Hux. The man had already prepared a status report.

 

Hux attempted to hide the fact he was literally falling asleep sitting up. “I can’t imagine what you are reporting the status of, since we just sent the troopers in, but nevertheless I would never stand in the way of bureacracy.”

 

“No sir, you certainly would not.” Mitaka was already pulling the report up on his datapad. “We have a conman meeting shortly and we should meet before the meeting-“

 

Hux took a drink while Mitaka summarized the developments of nothing yet and possibly something to come. Hux could tell he was getting lit because the cheap liquor didn’t taste like anything anymore. It just hurt.

 

“Excellent work, Lieutenant,” Hux passed Mitaka the liquor ration and to his great surprise, Mitaka accepted it. 

 

Mitaka grimaced through the taste “That’s not your usual, Grand Marshal.”

 

“Bloody awful, isn’t it. I’m slumming it on this mission,” he grinned. “Will you stay and help me white knuckle through the rest of this ration?” 

 

“I wish I could. I’m interfacing with the trooper command,” Mitaka’s datapad was lighting up with notifications. He was the new Hux, now. “We are rotating the troopers for sleep, sir. Why don’t you rotate as well? I’ll wake you before the next command meeting.”

 

Okay not subtle at all, Mitaka. You trying to tell me I drink too much? But Hux considered it. He was doing fuck all. And there was a cot in the hastily constructed command tent that was probably even comfortable. Maybe it didn’t smell as bad as it looked?

 

It was even more comfortable than he imagined. It gave Hux time to think about all the things that bothered him right before he went to sleep. Like-it was a little unsettling that Mitaka was the new Hux. What was Hux now? A nobody? Unbelievable. Tomorrow Hux determined to re-assert himself. He was more than just half of the hottest couple in the First Order. He was a Grand Marshal, dammit! Pride! Professional Standards! Honor!

 

There was a rustling outside his tent that made his blood run cold. Absolutely not. No midnight assassinations. Where was Ren when you needed him? Hux slinked out of bed. He still had the monomolecular blade, like a fucking warrior. Sneakily sneaking across the ground Hux opened the flap of the tent just enough to survey the area for potential enemy combatants/ scary animals. He waited for his night vision to adjust.

 

Hux caught just the faintest movement behind a tree a few yards in the distance. At least one figure, maybe two. Hux recognized the uniforms, but not the officers. One of them was bent over against a tree. And Hux understood. He had to stay very, very quiet. This was completely inappropriate. They should both be reprimanded. He was a superior officer. But he also wanted to watch?

 

He watched the officer bent over reach his hand between his own legs. Only one thing you can be doing there. His partner was using his hands to open his own pants. And then he- no he didn’t- spit! On his partner’s ass? Hux felt his stomach turn tight while he watched it. Was that supposed to be lubricant? How rough. I guess they’re going for it. The Officer was obviously a champ at this. Hux’s erection was straining in his pants. His pants were just too tight now. The Officer wrestled and and thrust his hips harshly forward. That settled it. 

 

Hux was rubbing himself over his clothes. Unbelievable. Putting his hand in his pants was out of the question because the waistband was too tight to really go for it. And he was already so hard! Hux unzipped his fly and pulled his cock out. No fear. If someone came by he could just- er- cover it real quick. His cock stuck nearly straight out. Subtle? He was already so hard, it would be the first thing anybody noticed. He set his legs apart and touching himself like a gentle lover while watching the two officers fuck. 

 

The Officer was moving his hips in sharp thrusts. He was clearly chasing his own orgasm and merely using his partner’s body. Amazing. This was usually not Hux’s thing, but they were so into it. Each movement was accompanied by small sharp breaths. It was so, so good. Hux felt his cock getting heavy. He had never done something like this before, what if somebody sees? He would never be able to cover himself in time. He would be embarrassed. Humiliated. Completely turned on.

 

Hux watched the Officer slam into his partner while he came. It was so animalistic. So aggressive. So fucking hot. Just a little bit more. Hux slowly worked his hands around this head of his cock. He set his legs into the dirt so he was steady when he gave into orgasm. He started stroking faster as he watched the Officers straighten up their uniforms like nothing had happened. They probably thought they got away with it. Thinking about how he had caught them was what sent Hux over the edge. His muscles clenched and he felt himself start to come. Of course, this one is super drawn out. Hux grit his teeth. Hopefully the officers can’t see him. Right? They’re not still looking around. Right? He continued working his hands until the last of the aftershocks had passed. Then Hux shook his hands off and slinked back into his tent.

 

He woke up three hours later with his hand in his pants. Walk it off, Hux. We have a reputation to reclaim. Mitaka was politely yelling from outside the tent. Oh yeah, the command meeting. There was an army to lead. 

 

As it turned out the rebels had dispersed into the surrounding jungle before the shelling. Mitaka shared casualties from the night before, way higher than expected. Troopers were being picked off by a pesky sniper. The commanding officers offered (mostly bad) suggestions.

 

“Send in the walkers and destroy the whole area!” 

No way. We’ll lose too many of our own men.

 

“More troopers!” 

More casualties. 

 

The officers began to bicker among themselves. This was pathetic. And to top it all off it was not even 7am and the planet was already fucking balmy. Hux adjusted his rolled up sleeves in anticipation of another day of sweating his ass off. 

 

“Grand Marshal?” Asked Mitaka. 

 

Do your fucking job, Hux. “Send in our best sniper”

 

“Our best sniper is in Sector 006, where the rebels are holed up in a building with too many windows,” Mitaka chided.

 

Hux was beginning to regret taking on command responsibility for this mission. He could be on the Finalizer, drinking nice Alchohol and living in a controlled climate. Sexy video chatting with Ren. Asking him to slowly peel off his sweat soaked layers and then his glistening abs...

 

“I’ll do it myself,” said Hux. 

 

The objections were immediate. 

 

“I was a sniper before I was a General. It will give the troops morale to watch me out with them.”

 

“Until you become a casualty”.

Mitaka hid his comment behind his datapad.

 

Hux insisted. He had something to prove.

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

<<Incoming Video Call from K. Ren>>

 

Hux had forgotten. He had to video chat with his boyfriend’s sexy abs. Watch him ejaculate on camera. Again.

 

Hux drunkenly input his passcode to accept the video call. “Hello!”

 

Hux told him all about how he did not get a chance to play sniper, and that it was hot and humid on the planet, and that in general the Grand Marshal was having a real bad time on the jungle planet. He was not ‘Hux’ anymore, Mitaka was Hux. And nobody cared about him. He was a nobody.

 

Just kidding. 

 

Hux didn’t tell him any of that because he has trust issues. 

 

“I miss you,” said Hux. 

 

And even though he didn’t say anything, Kylo knew exactly what he meant. Not because he reads minds. 

 

“I’ll be there tommorow,” said Kylo. “Can you hang on until then?”

 

Hux felt an unfamiliar warmth spread through his chest. It wasn’t like a turned-on feeling. It was like a content, comforting feeling. 

 

“Yes, I can,” Hux almost smiled. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are deeply appreciated. Kudos are wonderful also!


	6. Jungle Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FN-1116 had no idea who the Grand Marshal was. It sounded like a made up title. He tried to redirect the conversation back to the Knights of Ren, of which he was a pledge. “Okay well invite whoever you want. We are gonna be undertaking another sacred rite tonight and it’s gonna be sick”.  
> “Did you say ‘sacred rite’?”
> 
> “Haha yeah bro,” said FN-1116. “One of my ‘brothers’ is gonna buttchug a liquor ration it’s gonna be sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know when this fic got so long. I keep finding new things to write about. The thirst is real, folks. So, so real

Mitaka looked like he was 110% done with the Grand Marshal.

 

Kylo had just returned from the successful missions across the jungle planet. Now he was inquiring seriously as to why the Grand Marshal couldn’t take a few hours off. Kylo surveyed the makeshift command tent, the empty liquor rations, and concluded that he probably wasn’t that busy. So what the fuck?

 

“I have a command meeting in six hours,” said Hux. “We have to get everyone off this planet. That requires a lot of coordinating! I can’t just- just leave my post???” 

 

The amount of protest indicated that Hux was probably doing fuck all. He was desperately clinging on to his military role as a defense mechanism. All that work in therapy, wasted (probably). 

 

Kylo looked disappointed. 

 

“With all due respect sir, I can handle that.” It must have taken a lot of chutzpah for Mitaka to stand up for himself. Good for you, Mitaka. 

 

Hux continued to protest. “I’m needed here, with my men…” Hux couldn’t name a single one of “his men” below the rank of Lieutenant.

 

“Just a few hours,” said Ren. “There’s somewhere I need to take you.”

 

“You should go, Sir,” Mitaka looked at Ren. “It will be good for you to get a break”.

 

Did Mitaka suspect something? I mean, everybody knew that Kylo helped pacify the Grand Marshal but like did he suspect that they were also boning? That on this very excursion Kylo planned to dick the Grand Marshal down in the middle of beautiful jungle scenery and then hold him passionately in his arms?

 

Hux sat with his arms crossed, feet propped up on his “desk”, looking hella cross underneath his sunglasses. He didn’t look like he wanted to negotiate. 

 

“Grand Marshal Hux,” whined Mitaka.

 

“I command it as Supreme Leader.” Hux scoffed.

 

Kylo tried this card. Maybe it would play. Maybe not. “Please?” 

 

Mitaka turned to Kylo in pure shock. Like did he just say “please?” To Hux? Of all people? 

 

Mmhm yes he did, bitch. Kylo preened. He could be taught! Hux observed over the top of his sunglasses. He seemed maybe- proud? Surprised?

 

“Kylo, we’ll make a Supreme Leader of you yet,” the Grand Marshal sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He agreed to go with Kylo to an undisclosed location. Kylo wanted to keep it a surprise. 

 

Mitaka was given the coordinates in case Hux was needed urgently for some official business. Like, glaring at someone through his sunglasses. Or some shit. It wouldn’t happen so it didn’t matter. 

 

Mitaka was in a new kind of shock from watching Hux agree to go on a trip with Kylo. Alone. Kylo was saying please now? And being nice to Hux? What was going on?! 

 

~~~~~

 

The pledges had been instructed to “tear ass” and get all the rations they could muster for a large send off party. Kylo wanted to throw a celebration dedicated to the successful campaign on the planet. Hux could have a tangible display of his importance and maybe unclench his ass just a little? Like chill out for a second or two? 

 

This was not easily accomplished. Nobody wanted to give up their rations. 

 

“If you bring your liquor rations, you can come too,” said FN-1116. He was a member of the knights of Ren pledge group. He once won a fight with 8 other troopers while blindfolded just to prove himself to Kylo Ren. He considered himself a natural leader.

 

The other trooper considered the offer. “Can I invite some other people?”

 

FN-1116 had not been told whether he could invite other troopers. Probably though, right? 

 

More troopers had gathered. “Is Kylo Ren going to be there?”

 

“I’m not really down if he is going to be there.”

 

“He scares me.” 

 

FN-1116 was more than happy to explain that Kylo Ren was just a misunderstood genius. Also, FN-1116 explained the cool stormtrooper frat.Yes, the Knights of Ren. 

 

Other troopers who had not witnessed how entertaining the pledges could be maintained skepticism. 

 

“Who even is Grand Marshal Hux? Does he even go here?? He doesn’t even go here”

 

“I know who he is! The guy from the videos! The redhead guy...”

 

“The starkiller guy?” 

 

“Oh that guy!” 

 

“I thought he died?”

 

FN-1116 had no idea who the Grand Marshal was. It sounded like a made up title. He tried to redirect the conversation back to the Knights of Ren, of which he was a pledge. “Okay well invite whoever you want. We are gonna be undertaking another sacred rite tonight and it’s gonna be sick”.

 

“Did you say ‘sacred rite’?”

 

“Haha yeah bro,” said FN-1116. “One of my ‘brothers’ is gonna buttchug a liquor ration it’s gonna be sick. 

 

——

 

Kylo took a speeder and whisked his Grand Marshal away to a secluded waterfall deep in the jungle. Hux was not impressed. He had protested to the speeder because riding behind Kylo was somehow embarrassing. Or emasculating. Or both.

 

Hux also refused to go swimming, complaining that removing his clothes in public would be undignified. Kylo ripped off his own clothes and dove in to the pond immediately thinking maybe Hux would see him and want to join. It was not unprecendented. But Instead of relaxing Hux stood at parade rest and watched Kylo swim. He had his judgy face on. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Asked Kylo. 

 

Hux stood up straighter than ever. There was a lecture coming. “You new republic types have no modesty...” 

 

“Not this again-” 

 

“You have to accept that some things are just too brazen for me to do,” Hux huffed. 

 

Kylo floated out into the pond. “Compromise with me. What can I do?” 

 

Hux thought about it. He considered the gorgeous waterfall and the scenic pond. And Kylo. Naked. Wet. His favorite.

 

Hux carefully removed his boots and sat on a rock with all the dignity afforded to his station. He leaned back and raised a delicate foot over the pond. “You can wash my feet”.

 

Because Kylo is a mere servant. Fine. Pillow princes, I stg…. 

 

Kylo swam up to Hux and lingered a moment near his legs to let him feel his body heat. Hux shivered. 

 

“Lord Grand Marshal Hux of the First Order,” Kylo used his best sexy voice. 

 

A flush passed over Hux’s skin. So it was going to be that kind of foot rub? “Supreme Leader,” Hux pushed a foot square into Kylo’s chest.

 

Kylo locked eyes with Hux. “You can be as demure and noble as you see fit, Grand Marshal. If we are going to play gay chicken you’re going to lose.”

 

Even with sunglasses on Kylo could see the look of embarrassment play across Hux’s face. He sat up straighter. Kylo submerged Hux’s foot for a foot massage. Nothing too sexy. Just enough to make the Grand Marshal uncomfortable. Kylo moved his hands real slowly trying to “caress” and “soothe” and anything else that might give someone a boner. He couldn’t really tell through Hux’s jodhpurs if it was working. Instead

Kylo looked for other clues that Hux was getting ready to lose gay chicken.

 

“I can see you watching me,” Kylo smiled. “Even through the sunglasses”. 

 

Hux dramatically slid his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose. “Well if you put your...your...breasts! Away. They are distracting.”

 

Kylo looked down at his own chest, suddenly self conscious. There was a deep cut on one of this pecs. Nothing a little bacta wouldn’t fix. “Are my breasts distracting you, Grand Marshal?” 

 

Hux considered it. “Among other things. But yes, they are just. So. Large? And wet. And your-” he made a squeezing gesture with his hand. It seemed like he was getting frustrated. Getting turned on and painfully trying to deny it.

 

Kylo puffed out his chest. “Should I get a shirt?”

 

“Absolutely not.” Hux smiled, briefly. “Don’t you dare.” 

 

——

Hux still seemed determined to make the afternoon as much of a bummer as possible. 

 

Well Kylo was otherwise inclined. He grabbed Hux by the hand and dragged him into the jungle. Hux bumbled along, mildly turned on, cross, cranky, and crotchety. 

 

Kylo stopped in the middle of a clearing- if you could even call it that. Poor Hux. He stood disheveled trying to catch his breath. Kylo tried to pick some of the rich jungle ecosystem out of Hux’s hair. 

 

“Pick any tree you want,” said Kylo. 

 

Hux attempted to comb out his hair with his fingers. “For what? Why?” He stood up straight and tried to re assert his dignity. “Why do I need to pick a tree?” 

 

Kylo moved closer. “Because that’s the one I’m going to fuck you against”.

 

Hux was not expecting that. He scoffed. He rolled his eyes. “Oh, you are? Well thank you for telling me,” he laughed at his own sarcasm. 

 

“I’m serious,” Kylo took off his shirt. Because he was serious. 

 

The breasts. That definitely got Hux’s attention. “Are we doing anything else I should know about?” He eyed the aforementioned breasts.

 

“Well,” Kylo swallowed “I’d like you in my mouth first”. 

 

“I could be amenable to that,” Hux traced Kylo’s chest with his finger. 

 

It felt nice. “Haha what does amenable mean?” 

 

Hux pinched a nipple, because it was there and he could. Because he wanted to. 

 

Fucking- “ow!” Kylo gasped. So it was going to be that kind of night. 

 

“I like that tree,” Hux pointed to a real sturdy looking tree. A nice strong boy. 

 

“Get on your knees before your Grand Marshal,” Hux hissed.

 

Kylo put on that “yes daddy” and did as he was told. He licked his lips ready to take on some D. 

 

Hux looked around to make sure no one was secretly watching him. This continued to be a concern for some reason. Like, nobody cares if you are receiving casual oral sex in the beautiful outdoors but apparently this is a big concern for Hux. Kylo had a solid frame of reference because it happens in Holoporn all the time. Thanks to the holonet Kylo was sure that most of the outdoors were full of young horny twinks hooking up. 

 

Hux real slowly unzipped his zipper then immediately looked around again just in case someone was watching. When he didn’t see anyone he put his hand in his fly- but then stopped to check his 6.

 

“We’re alone, I would feel it if someone was watching,” Kylo whispered. 

 

“That’s not how the force works!”

 

“Don’t you tell me how the force works!”

 

Hux finally took his cock out. He held it in his hand as he looked one last time over his shoulder. 

 

“Why are you so worried?” Kylo asked. “Do you still want this?”

 

Hux held himself in his hand like he was trying to hide. “Yes, I want this. But, it’s completely undignified”. 

 

“Why don’t you let me start and you can decide if you want to keep going?” Kylo growled.

 

Hux’s cock was starting to fill and it was becoming more difficult to conceal it with the one hand. “If I start I won’t be able to stop...”

 

“What if we do it real quick?”

 

Hux moved another hand to help conceal what was becoming a full erection. “Ah. I. In the jungle??”

 

Kylo nodded. Hux was starting to stroke himself. When he realized what he was doing his stilled his hands with great effort. His cock was flushed a deep red. 

 

“Why are you torturing yourself?” Kylo teased.

 

“I’m going to stop,” Hux whispered. He put his hands at his sides, allowing his cock to twitch upward in need. It stuck straight out of his fly in the direction of Kylo and his big wet mouth. 

 

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want to,” Kylo whispered. 

 

“I want you to,” Hux spoke as his cock twitched upward again. 

 

I mean, that’s consent. Kylo took Hux into his mouth and began the routine established as Hux’s favorite. Hux exhaled and gripped Kylo’s hair while he plowed forward into his mouth. Hux continued to give orders in the same tone of voice he used on the bridge:

“Faster” “slower” “use your tongue,” “suck on the head”. 

 

Kylo felt Hux shift his position so his legs were spread further apart. Hux was thrusting forward into Kylo’s mouth with his eyes closed like “if I can’t see them, they can’t see me”. Kylo felt Hux tense his thighs and pulled his mouth off. 

 

“Bend over,” Kylo growled. He stood up and roughly pushed Hux over against the tree. Hux wrestled with his jodhpurs and let them pool around his ankles. He slipped his fingers underneath the elastic of his underwear, but was too slow. Kylo saw the fabric covering Hux’s ass and ripped it in his fists. He could buy Hux new man panties because this was more important. Kylo wasted no time prepping Hux with his hand. 

 

Hux steadied his hands against the tree to prevent his head incurring new unexplainable injuries. “Where in the kriffing hell did you get lube from?” he asked.

 

“I just carry it on me all the time,” Kylo was not lying. It felt really cool to be prepared for sex. Like, a cool guy that has sex all the time. 

 

Kylo pulled back and slicked himself liberally. He was impossibly hard. The past few weeks without Hux had been difficult. It is incredibly inconvenient to masturbate when embedded with a group of troopers. This was much needed. He watched as Hux steadied himself against the tree like he was prepared to be really vigorously dicked down. Good!

 

Kylo started off slow because the hot sweet pressure on his cock after so long was a relief. Hux moaned and leaned into the tree. This was allegedly the position he liked best to hit his spot. Kylo’s sense of self confidence was heavily linked to his ability to sexually satisfy his partner. He needed that sweet sweet praise “you’re so good kylo” or “keep it up you’re doing a great job”. 

 

But also. Kylo needed to come soon or he would explode from mental exhaustion. At best they could fuck it out together. 

 

Kylo proceeded to set a pace until he heard footsteps somewhere in the wood. Probably just a jungle animal. Nature. So majestic. Kylo slowly ground his hips forward because he really needed to fuck but also- yep, footsteps. Kylo stopped mid thrust and Hux whined. 

 

“Supreme Leader, Sir!” The voice came from behind them. It was no one he recognized. Kylo froze. He watched Hux grip the tree so hard his knuckles turned white. 

 

“Go away! Not now!” Kylo shouted. He turned around and saw one of the pledges. Goddamnit. 

 

“Sorry!” He shouted back. “I didn’t see you using the- uh- restroom”. The pledge turned around. 

 

Sure, Kylo’s current position could look like that. Yeah, let’s go with that. Buck ass nude in the middle of the forest with some guy bent over a tree. Uh huh. Pledges, amirite?

 

“I-m. I-m so close,” Hux gasped. He was shaking. Buddy hold it together. 

 

“Just wanted to tell you that we are all waiting back at the rendezvous point,” the trooper shouted. “And some guy is here asking for you. Lieutenant Mitaka.” 

 

Don’t keep talking you idiot. He was rattling on to try and cover his embarrassment. This was not recover-able.

 

“Go away!” Kylo pushed deeper into Hux, who covered his mouth to mask what could only be described as a squeal-moan. Kylo tried to stop again but it wasnt happening. Hips hips kept pushing forward on their own. It was over. 

 

“Sorry, Sir. Um, Lord Ren. Er- S-Supreme....Sorry!” The trooper yelled.

 

“Kylo,” moaned Hux. “Please. You’re mak-making. Making me-”

 

Kylo waited for the troopers’ footsteps to fade into the distance. That pledge was gonna get it later. Something really...extra. For now Kylo had other things on his mind. He wasted no time changing their position. He pinned Hux’s back to the tree and picked up his knees.

 

“I wanna watch you while you tell me how good this is,” Kylo breathed. He put his hand around Hux’s cock to help him get over the edge. Hux seemed surprised and impressed that Kylo was able to lift, hold, and fuck him. Hux made a deep groan and sucked in a breath. He couldn’t keep it together. Hux’s stomach tensed, then his thighs, then his groin. Kylo moved his hands and slowly pumped his cock while he came. There were several large spurts directed mostly upward but inevitably come landed on Hux’s uniform. He continued to groan and breathe irregularly as he spasmed in Kylo’s hand. Kylo would continue to stroke him through the aftershocks. Hux groaned slowly and then began forming words.

 

“Enough!” Shouted hux. 

 

Kylo moved his hand to grab at Hux’s ass. He needed to put this nut somewhere and it was probably going to be there. 

 

“Not inside,” Hux ordered. Uggggh fine. 

 

Kylo pulled out at the last second and wasted a huge load all over the tree. He groaned as he pumped himself through it. For weeks he had fantasies about filling up his boyfriend but it was not meant to be. 

 

The two adjusted themselves, reclothed, and headed back towards the lake and the sound of shitty soundcloud rap being blasted through cheap speakers. A hallmark of stormtrooper entertainment. Even the loud shitty music could not distract entirely from the bungled excursion moments earlier. Kylo inevitably broached the subject of what had happened. 

 

“Do you think he saw anything?”

 

“Yes! I think he bloody saw something are you kidding me???” Hux screeched. “This will need to be dealt with! I will not be gossip for stormtroopers!” He literally had fresh cum stains on his jacket at that very moment. At least it was getting dark out.

 

But Kylo could feel waves of excitement coming off of Hux. He liked being discovered. He liked being watched. He wanted people to talk about him. Good to know. Kylo was not sure yet how to use this information.

 

There were so many fucking people at the waterfall. Kylo discovered that word had spread and everybody wanted to come party. As promised, Kylo led the pledges in a sacred rite and one of them buttchugged a liquor ration. He probably died but it was hella sick. 

 

Hux sat dejected on the fringes of the gathering. He was bringing the vibe down by sitting there looking like he was mad at somebody. Maybe he was? Maybe it was Kylo.

 

“I love you,” whispered Kylo. 

 

Hux did not respond. 

 

“I did all this for you,” said Kylo. “I wanted to show you how important you are to me.”

 

Something in that comment had penetrated Hux’s tough facade. “I want to be important to everyone, to the Order. But. I’m not even a General anymore”. 

 

“Is that what this is about?” Kylo asked. “I thought you wanted less responsibility. More free time...”

 

“More time for your cock? Is that it?”

 

“No.”

 

Hux took a moment. “I’m sorry. I’m just- still adjusting to my new role”.

 

Kylo placed his hand over Hux’s. “Can I tell you a secret? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

 

“Kylo, that’s not a secret.”

 

Kylo was almost angry, but then they both laughed. Yeah. Kylo was a fucking joke of a leader and hux did not do diplomacy well.

 

“I wanna give you everything,” said Kylo. “I want to build you a fortress, a castle. Let me buy you something expensive. What do you want? Name it.”

 

“A castle would be nice,” the Grand Marshal stared up into Kylo’s eyes. “But I want something else. I don’t want to be a secret anymore. I want everyone in every galaxy to know that you are mine.”

 

That was the best answer Kylo never expected. And just like that he pulled in Hux for a kiss. They were both a little drunk so it turned into one of those aggressive, needy kisses. The noises became more obscene as it turned into a full on make out scene. In front of like a hundred stormtroopers.

 

Kylo slid his hand down to slap at Hux’s thigh. Hux allowed it. He liked it when people watched him. He put on a show for the party with all his gyrating and obscene noises. Kylo was cool with it because he too needed to be the center of attention like, all the kriffing time.

 

There was the occasional “is the like- Supreme Leader?” But literally what’s the point of being Supreme Leader if you can’t enjoy the little things? 

 

Like watching the stormtroopers observe a once intimidating stoic General gyrating against some dudes thigh. And also noticing “that guy” is Kylo Ren, and could fucking kill you with his mind... most troopers tried to avert their eyes because it was safer not to know these things.

 

“Where should we build it?” Kylo groaned. “The castle?” 

 

Hux pulled Kylo’s hair. “Let me be in charge of it. I’m better at this.”

 

Kylo relaxed. “Great because I’m shit at planning things.” 

 

Kylo stared at the hunger in Hux’s eyes for a moment. Hux twisted his face into a sadistic grin while he tried to decide what to do. Kylo jerked forward to try and kiss him again, but Hux pulled his hair harder. He waited for Kylo to stop struggling then allowed Kylo to crush into him with his mouth. 

 

Kylo grabbed Hux’s thigh. He dug his fingers into the soft pillowy goodness. Would that bruise? Hopefully. Hux swatted him away with his hand. Kylo slapped his ass just to feel the way Hux’s thigh shook. Amazing. 

 

Wham! 

 

Kylo felt a slap to his cheek. He fell backwards onto the jungle floor. It’s easy to be taken off guard when you have your mouth on something cute. 

 

“What are you doing??” Hux shouted in his shrillest ever voice. 

 

Kylo heard another voice stuttering “he was hurting you-“ “I cannot allow it” “clearly has you under some force- spell.”

 

Kylo knew that voice. The ass kissing boot licking pathetic whimpering of- that one guy who followed Hux around what was his name? Ughhhh. So bad with names... 

 

Kylo helped himself off the ground since probably nobody was gonna do it. The stormtroopers has formed a perimeter in case Kylo got violent. Which he wanted to. 

 

“Lieutenant-“ Hux was cut off by Mitaka’s explanation. 

 

“He was- he was hurting you...and I just thought-“ Mitaka looked at Ren, who might just kill him for sport. 

 

The pledges gathered around to defend their leader. “Is this guy bothering you? Do you want us to get rid of him?” asked one of the nameless pledges.Absolutely not was the answer, but Kylo was growing upset and did not have the faculties to speak calmly to anybody right now. 

 

Instead he glimpsed inside Mitaka’s mind. This was Kylo’s specialty. Inside Mitaka’s mind Kylo watched him watching Hux. He saw Hux on the bridge looking powerful and intimidating. Hux standing over a full army giving a speech. The exploding Hosnian system reflected in his eyes. He watched small precious glimpses of Hux over the years: an unguarded smile, a look of victory, and unhooked button on his uniform. Kylo was in Mitaka’s mind smelling Hux’s aftershave on the bridge, standing so close you could almost feel him. 

 

“Stop that!” Mitaka snapped. “Stay out of there!” 

 

The pledges kind of stepped back. Like maybe he was about to throw somebody into a console or console equivalent. Hux did not move to stop Kylo. He sat up straight and more dignified than ever. He ran a hand through his red hair to straighten it out. Everyone was watching them. Kylo gave Hux a knowing smile. Like “I know having boys fight over you is totally turning you on...but...I’m about to win”.

 

Kylo pushed forward into Mitaka’s mind to get at the really personal stuff. That’s how you fuck with someone. Mitaka had some very private thoughts about Hux that he was trying to keep Kylo from seeing. How cute. 

 

Kylo could feel Mitaka touching himself while he thought about Hux. Kylo saw the fantasy: Mitaka pushing Hux’s face into the mattress while he fucked him from behind. Hux was screaming begging for more in this fantasy. 

 

Another fantasy of Hux on his knees drooling and sucking at Mitaka’s cock like a cam girl. Mitaka would reach down and tease at Hux’s nipples, making him moan in pleasure. Mitaka also has some interesting misconceptions about Hux’s body hair but whatever, not his place to share that the curtains matched the drapes.

 

Kylo snapped out of his mind just as he was getting to some really juicy stuff. Mitaka squeezed his head and screamed. Kylo indulged this as a demonstration of dominance and also because Hux was totally getting off on it. He was practically preening. 

 

Hux sat like the prince he was and watched the whole affair with a neutral deference. Even with the rolled up sleeves he emanated an air of superiority. Kylo felt a need to get fucked by that sometime soon. 

 

Mitaka slinked away but the troopers were unsure whether or not the party was still on. Like, was Kylo Ren gonna force choke somebody now? Because so far he was totally living up to his hype. Kylo scanned the thoughts around him. 

 

“Let’s get fucked up,” Kylo ordered. “Pledges?”

 

The pledges bumped into each other as they fought to get Kylo’s attention. Hux poorly stifled a smile. 

 

“Last one to finish a full liquor ration has to fight the rest of the pledges blindfolded,” Kylo announced. They had actually done this challenge before and it was an old favorite. It combined a “drink until you vomit” challenge with a “fight until you hurt yourself” challenge. It was a fan favorite. 

 

Hux crossed his legs, trying not to act excited as he observed the pledges scrambling to down their rations. Kylo loved the way he watched them. 

 

“They are our children,” said Kylo. “Our drunk idiot children”. 

 

“This is better than a castle,” Hux mused. One of the troopers was already vomiting. 

 

Kylo put his arm around Hux. Was this okay? He looked so- dignified? Serious? All the time! It was hard to imagine Hux enjoying intimate touches in public. Especially from him. Kylo was wearing clothes that hadn’t been washed since they were on the Finalizer. Hux gave him a look he couldn’t discern. But then he smiled. And went back to watching the pledges. Was that good? A castle would be easier. 


	7. There are only winners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> >>A. Hux: Cancel all meetings tomorrow
> 
> >>A. Hux: Move all morning meetings to accommodate trip to poundtown.
> 
> >>D. Mitaka: Is this Kylo Ren?
> 
> >>A. Hux: No
> 
> >>A. Hux: Maybe
> 
> >>A. Hux: ....
> 
> >>A. Hux: What gave it away
> 
> >>D. Mitaka: You failed to schedule time to accommodate the return trip from “pound town”. The Grand Marshal would never overlook this detail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I think this is going to be the last chapter. I might add on to it later. I would be open to doing a collab with someone else, because this stupid series is so open-ended. But for now I need to work on new chapters.

Hux was avoiding his room because he knew the Supreme Leader was waiting for him. The Supreme Leader wasn’t interested in the progress of the Victory Tour (it was going great, crushing it). Kylo Ren didn’t care that planets were falling into line as news of their hella sweet Victory Tour Spread. It was getting harder for Hux to really find the motivation when the Supreme Leader assumes that all victories are his doing alone. Like, literally. This meant that Kylo was taking all of the credit because he actually thought he deserved it. 

 

Hux felt his resolve breaking. Soon he would lose the will to work overtime every day and shortly after, the will to live. He steeled himself for another attempt at bringing his success to the attention of a very distracted Supreme Leader.

 

Hux briefed Kylo Ren in the common area of their chambers, over a dinner brought by a service droid. The meal was a strongly spiced chunk-based stew, maybe. Hux hadn’t been able to taste food for years so it was hard to tell. Kylo had to emotionally weigh how much of a hit to his stomach he was ready to take with this mystery stew. 

 

Hux tried to get Kylo interested in like, the empire he inherited. He told him about the “developments” and the “progress” etc. Kylo seemed more interested in his food. He kept nodding up and down while Hux shared those juicy deets and ship gossip. Hux wasn’t fooled. Bitch why you nodding? I know you aren’t listening. 

 

“So yes. The Victory Tour has met its objectives,” Hux signaled with his tone that maybe like this was the end of his point. 

 

Kylo nodded. “That’s great”. 

 

Hux actually died inside. 

 

Kylo didn’t notice. “Did you know the media has been circulating stories about us? They are calling it ‘scandalous’. Why would they do that? Don’t we own the media???”

 

“I told you about this.” How incredibly frustrating. “We picked out photographs together,” Hux sighed. 

 

“I thought those were for, like. Something else.” 

 

Yeah, I bet. Hux explained this like he was talking to a child. “We have to give people a juicy scandal to distract them from the rebellion.”

 

Kylo thought about it. “Do you think it’s scandalous?” 

 

“What?” Hux wasn’t sure, actually. “I think it’s inappropriate but hardly scandalous.” 

 

Kylo made that thinking face. “I know you like the attention.” He stopped Hux before he could protest. “I know it’s been hard for you without Snoke. You miss his validation.” 

 

Hux glared. “Did you-“

 

“No, I didn’t need to read your mind. Why else would you insist on these stupid briefings? And redundant bureaucracy? You need constant reinforcement.” 

 

Okay what? What! “This coming from- from you. You require constant supervision! You are an actual child.”

 

Kylo harrumphed. “Come here, I know what you need.”

 

Hux attempted to protest but Kylo was already on his feet. He scumped up Hux in his arms and carried him to the bed. Amidst loud protests.

 

“Put me down you overgrown! child this is not! what I want you will not! change my mind this is unacceptable-!”

 

Kylo dumped Hux on the bed. He hit the bunk so hard that he actually bounced. Millicent was sent scrambling out from underneath the bed, traumatized. 

 

Hux scrambled to gain some dignity by smoothing out his hair and uniform. Nope. Kylo looked at him with the confidence of someone about to get it in. He peeled off his shirt and threw it in Hux’s face. Hux snatched it away and tossed it as far as it could go, like not that far. Kylo laughed.

 

“You are a child!” Hux huffed. 

 

Kylo grabbed Hux’s legs and dragged him to the edge of the bed. Hux may or may not have squeaked.

 

“Relax,” Kylo teased. “I’m just taking off your boots.” 

 

“Good,” Hux presented his leg. “Because this is not the way you get me into bed.”

 

Kylo had that sneaky mischief grin. “Of course not.”

 

Hux leaned back. 

 

“I’m going to ask you very nicely to fuck me, Grand Marshal,” Kylo dropped Hux’s boots on the floor. He watched as anger and frustration moved across Hux’s face, and then were replaced with something else. 

 

I mean if this is what we’re doing, then I’m going to be in charge…

 

“Well,” Hux looked up at him through his eyelashes. This look was 100% fatality did serious damage to Kylo’s decision-making ability. 

 

“Yeah,” Kylo swallowed. 

 

“Well. Ask. Me.” Hux teased. He could be naughty if he wanted to. Maybe he wanted to. 

 

Kylo considered this a challenge. “Lord Grand Marshal Hux of the First Order,”

 

Hux loved the way that sounded. “Yes”, he purred.

 

“Hux”

 

“Yes-“

 

“Armitage-“

 

“Yes-“

 

Hux was going to sleep with this boy no matter what, but he wanted to hear him ask for it. 

 

Kylo smiled like he had a good answer. He put on his deep bedroom voice: “Please daddy, Fuck me.”

 

Hux pretended to think about it. “Alright then, undress”.

 

Kylo requested that Hux keep the cap on. And the sock garters. 

 

“Are you on your shift right now?” Kylo asked. 

 

“No,” Hux spit. “My rotation on the bridge is over.”

 

“Yeah, but. Are you like being paid for this? With me?” Kylo gestured to the bedroom and the piles of clothing on the floor. Like it wasn’t obvious. 

 

“Technically I am a salaried Officer,”Hux stretched his leg sexily, like he was thinking. He was not. He was showing off. “I am performing a...duty. To the Supreme Leader” 

 

Kylo kept his eyes on Hux’s legs. His brain probably short-circuted. He didn’t seem to be thinking properly. 

 

“I can’t keep our roleplays straight anymore,” Kylo said. “You’re the Grand Marshal, you’re Daddy. What are we doing?”

 

After consideration, Hux clarified: “I think that the Grand Marshal is also Daddy.”

 

Kylo knelt on the floor at the base of their bed. “Like an alias? Like ‘Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’ “?

 

“Yes. Like that. Grand Marshal Daddy of the First Order....” Hux spread his legs and roughly pulled Kylo’s head forward towards the erection straining his standard issue black briefs. “Kiss it for Daddy, the Grand Marshal commands it. (Grand Marshal Daddy)”.

 

“Okay, I get it,” Kylo breathed into Hux’s crotch.

 

He looked up at Hux, who returned his gaze with like a “get on with it” look.

 

“Oh you mean right now?” Kylo asked.

 

“Yes, I mean right now”.

 

Kylo struggled with complex role play. You had to keep it simple. 

 

Kylo pressed his mouth against the outline of Hux’s cock in his briefs. Hux inhaled sharply at the warm breath.

 

“It’s going to be inside you soon,” Hux sneered. “Give it some attention.” 

 

Kylo pulled down Hux’s briefs to free his straining erection. He put his mouth over the head of Hux’s cock, and Hux pushed his hips forward. Hux continued short moans while Kylo moved his hand up and down Hux’s length. 

 

“Very good,” Hux breathed. Kylo undoubtedly had some witty comment for him but his mouth was full and he couldn’t talk. This was the best Kylo, in Hux’s opinion. His attention should be focused at all times on Hux’s pleasure. Hux’s hips bucked forward. He savored the knowledge that he taught this boy everything he knew. Although Kylo’s strokes were technically kind of sloppy, it only reminded him that Kylo was HIS. 

“Keep doing that,” whispered Hux. 

 

Kylo pulled off with an obscene pop. Hux did not teach him that. Probably something he got from the holovids. 

 

“I want you inside me,” said Kylo. 

 

“I know. Do this a bit longer. For Daddy?” Hux pulled at Kylo’s hair. He liked that. He liked when it hurt a little bit. 

 

Kylo kept at it, working his mouth over Hux’s cock. Hux looked down to see Kylo’s hand busy between his legs. Hux let Kylo take him right to the edge. Okay, not “right” to the edge. Close to the edge. Like, a quarter mile away. Hux didn’t trust himself to get any closer. 

 

Hux used his palm to roughly force Kylo’s mouth away. “Get on your fucking back.” Kylo really liked it when he swore. It was like, his thing. 

 

Opening Kylo up was always a process. He was a complete baby about it. Hux always went really slow, but inevitably Kylo would draw the process out. Part of Hux was concerned that maybe he was really in pain. But, most likely, Kylo just liked going slow. Which was fine (kind of). Hux was never one for patience. 

 

“I’m going to put it in,” Hux grunted. 

 

“No! Not yet!”

 

Hux looked down at his hand. “You’re fine. I’ll go slow.”

 

“Ngh. Daddy-!” Kylo moaned performatively. “Okay, Okay.”

 

Hux almost rolled his damn eyes. His cock had been pushing against Kylo’s thighs for the better part of ten minutes. It. Was. About. Damn. Time. 

 

Hux slicked himself up. 

 

“I wanna tell you how good it is, Daddy,” Kylo smiled. 

 

Hux would never consciously consent to needing to be praised. He pushed inside Kylo without acknowledging Kylo’s comment one way or the other. 

 

“Nnn- aggughhh” Kylo made some kind of noise. He rolled his hips forward. “Daddy, you’re so big!”

 

Hux actually did roll his eyes. Empty praise was worth actually nothing. In fact it was negative for his self esteem. He thrust hips hips forward, pushing his cock all the way in way too fast. If that’s what it would take to shut Kylo up, fine! Hux pulled out just enough to allow him to push back in again. 

 

“Daddy! Sto. Stop!” Kylo moaned. 

 

Hux did no such thing. You can shut the fuck up with all that fake shit. Hux set a punishing pace. He intended to chase his orgasm all the way to the edge this time. The head of his cock was buried so deep in that sweet heat of Kylo Ren that every time he pulled out he felt Kylo sucking him back in. It was too much. Hux rolled his hips in the most obscene way, pounding at Kylo. From behind he probably looked as desperate as one of those sad johns at a brother on Yavin-IV.

 

Kylo grabbed the pillow behind his head for dear life. He moaned. He whined. He pushed his hips up. Then down. His erect nipples pointed straight up, desperate for anything. His sad, neglected cock throbbed wet against his stomach. 

 

“Daddy! Ugh yeah Fuck me harder!” Kylo screamed. It was the first legitimate comment Hux had heard from him. 

 

“Daddy’s gonna fuck you real hard,” Hux threw Kylo’s leg over his shoulder. He was gonna plow tonight. 

 

“Yes! Daddy!” Kylo shut his eyes. 

 

The bed was shaking so hard it had started to hit the wall. Whatever. 

 

“Oh fuck!” Hux spit. He was at the metaphorical “quarter mile” mark. He should probably stop. 

 

One of Kylo’s hands reached out and grabbed Hux’s neck. “Fuck me daddy don’t stop!” Well shit. Kylo was furiously pumping his cock. Hux felt himself way past the “quarter mile” mark. Might as well go for it? He leaned forward as far as he could, until his hands were on either side of Kylo’s head. And he fucking went for it. Like, a proper hard fuck. Not the kind of thing you do on a fun Saturday night. The kind of thing you do on like a Tuesday night, after work, when bae comes back from a business trip. Like a hard fuck. 

 

Hux grabbed the headboard and screamed. He felt his cock move in Kylo’s impossibly tight ass and unload. Fuck. This was going to be a mess. 

 

Afterward, there was no fake pillow talk. There was no more “daddy”. There were only winners. 

 

—-

“You want me to comm the pledges?” Kylo reached for Hux’s datapad next to the bed. 

 

“What in the stars would we ever comm the pledges for?” Asked Hux. “Leave them alone. They need their rest for actual shenanigans.”

 

Kylo continued to scroll through Hux’s datapad. Was he working? Looking for something? Mesmerized by the flashing lights? 

 

“Mitaka wants to know if you will be attending the briefing tomorrow with the admiralty. It conflicts with another meeting- Stars, Hux. Is this your life?”

 

Hux slipped on his sleeping sweater and set a course for knocked the fuck out. “I have a shift in a few hours. I’m going to sleep.” 

 

“I’m texting Mitaka: ‘cancel all meetings tomorrow’. Is that okay?” Ren was teasing. Any indulgence would only serve as encouragement. 

 

A few moments went by. “Mitaka just texted back! He said ‘are you sure you want me to cancel?’ What should I say? Should I say yes???”

 

Hux curled up and ordered the bedroom lights to half. “Goodnight, Ren”. 

 

“I’m going to comm him,” Ren stuttered like he was actually typing. “Move morning meetings to accommodate trip to pound town’. Great. I’m gonna send that.” 

 

“Wonderful,” Hux yawned. “Don’t forget to include the return trip as well.” 

 

“Return trip from poundtown.’ Thanks.”

 

“Wonderful. Now get off my datapad and get in bed.” Hux couldn’t fall asleep unless he felt the pressure of a dick pressing up against his ass. Which Kylo always provided.

 

The lights were off, Kylo was wrapped around his body, Hux was so ready to be done until he heard the ping of his datapad. 

 

“I’ll turn the sound off,” Kylo disturbed the perfect comfort of the bed to reach for the datapad. Hux realized that Kylo was playing around on it again. 

 

“Put that down!” 

 

Kylo snickered. “Mitaka Asked: ‘Is this Kylo Ren?’ He saw right through me.” Kylo narrated typing a response: “what gave it away?”

 

“Did you actually send a message to Mitaka from my datapad?” Hux asked. “Please don’t embarrass me”.

 

Kylo laughed. 

 

“It’s not that funny.” 

 

“It is.” Kylo showed the datapad to Hux. 

 

>>A. Hux: Cancel all meetings tomorrow 

>>A. Hux: Move all morning meetings to accommodate trip to poundtown.

>>D. Mitaka: Is this Kylo Ren?

>>A. Hux: No

>>A. Hux: Maybe

>>A. Hux: ....

>>A. Hux: What gave it away 

>>D. Mitaka: You failed to schedule time to accommodate the return trip from “pound town”. The Grand Marshal would never overlook this detail

 

Hux was embarrassed that this exchange was recorded on his datapad forever but also angry because he had definitely told Ren to include the return journey. Mitaka could be dealt with tomorrow. He was probably going to pretend like this never happened. Kylo had exposed his crush so this was a little awkward, but whatever. Mitaka’s romantic fixations were not important. 

 

“Fuck,” Kylo whispered into Hux’s ear. “Look what you did to me”. Kylo pushed his hips forward, digging his really hard cock into Hux’s ass. “What should I do?” 

 

Hux tried to think about telling him ‘no’. Like wouldn’t that be nice? Instead he rolled over and kissed Kylo. 

 

“I’ll tell it to go to sleep,” Hux whispered. He crawled underneath the covers to take Kylo in his mouth. 


	8. Daddy Kylo and the Sextape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Hux find a baby on a recently deserted planet. They have to watch the baby for 48 hours. Hux and Kylo have no experience and hilarity ensues. But the Resistance is also interested in the infant. Poe is ready to leverage a compromising recording to kidnap the infant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no mpreg because that’s squicky for me. Also the possibility of a sex tape is introduced and I know this chapter is already crack but yes I mean it there is a sex tape now

The Hux was told that the now exiled royal family abandoned the place, but his subordinates told him lots of things and he didn’t trust anybody anymore. It turns out there was a six month old galactic royalty currently residing in the temple of the “abandoned” planet. It was a planet with only one city and only one inhabitant: the heir apparent currently undergoing an early life ritual based around the cycle of the planets six moons.  Apparently the six moon ritual bullshit started late this year. Oops. This was hella inconvenient because the First Order needed the shit out of the sweet sweet minerals deep within the planet.

 

Hux stared into the crib. “I would feel better if I had someone to blame but I honestly feel like the responsibility is spread among too many people for me to adequately give one single consequence to anybody. This was a collective fuck up and therefore you all need to die.” 

 

Mitaka turned white. The baby was screaming which didn’t help. 

 

“Who just leaves a baby?” Kylo asked. 

 

“Did you read the report about the planet I forwarded you?” Hux glared. They both knew the answer. 

 

“No.”

 

“How is that possible?” Hux scolded. “I literally watched you stare into the email for five minutes on the transport!”

 

“I’m exhausted! I couldn’t make my eyes focus-“

 

“Would somebody get the Prince to shut the hell up!” Hux yelled. 

 

Multiple staff rushed to the crib, hoping to prove themselves to Hux or Kylo or both. 

 

They were much too exhausted to really notice anything. 

 

Mitaka tapped his datapad. “We can transport the Prince to a nursery off planet.” 

 

Like that solved anything. 

 

Hux glared at the screaming infant. “The child must be left inside the temple for a full forty eight hours during this particular moon phase. That’s why his parents left him.”

 

How many members of the royal family did Kylo killed? Did this baby even have parents?

 

Kylo stepped closer to Hux, for privacy. “I don’t know if you could tell from the- everything about me- but I’m an only child. Is it normal for parents to do that?”

 

Hux gripped the side of the crib. The Prince was red-faced from screaming for so long.

 

Kylo told himself that Hux was just detached because they had been up for nearly 36 hours. The last time they slept was probably inbetween briefings on a command shuttle somewhere.

 

"Everyone leave," Kylo said. Staff left the nursery. Hux waited until they were gone, then collapsed into a chair. 

 

Kylo's gloved hands gripped the sides of the bassinet. 

 

“Make him stop,” said Hux. 

 

Kylo rocked the bassinet. This did not work. “What do babies eat?”

 

Hux laughed at some thought. “Are you intending to breastfeed?”

 

Kylo picked up the baby the best he could. He tried to soothe him. This was clumsy because Kylo could not ever recall seeing this done. He knew that he needed to move the baby in a gentle fashion, pressed up against his body. His tunic was super gross and smelled like dead parents. Hux watched, his own eyes droopy and trying to close.

 

“We can mash up a protein bar and feed it through the bottle,” said Kylo. 

 

“We?” Hux asked. “I can barely stay awake.”

 

So it turns out liquified protein bars are actually pretty easy to fit into a baby bottle. The bars come as powder and they mix right up with water to form a sludge. 

 

Hux moved to a large bed against the wall. He kept awake by turning on his datapad. There was always work to be done.

 

Kylo had no idea how to feed a baby. It is not intuitive. You have to hold the baby because it can’t sit upright, which is a bullshit design quite frankly. And then you have to hold the bottle at such an angle that the liquid can go into the child. Kylo awkwardly maneuvered himself and his cape into a rocking chair for this activity. His cape was designed for looking cool while using the force, not for sitting in a rocking chair. 

 

Despite his effort the baby refused the bottle and continued to cry. 

 

“This is kriffing bullshit,” Kylo huffed. 

 

Hux looked up from his datapad. “Just get him to stop crying, please. I’m running out of patience.”

 

Kylo took another pass at getting the baby to eat a liquified protein bar. The baby refused. Kylo had no choice but to actually drip some of the mixture into it’s mouth. As soon as the Prince realized it was food, they were in business. Kylo was pleased. He looked up at Hux for acknowledgement.

 

“Should I call in the propaganda team?” Hux had started saying this as a barb when Kylo did an everyday task but demanded recognition. 

 

Kylo gestured to the bed that Hux was using as an office. “You should lay down. Get some sleep.” 

 

“I’m fine,” Hux said. “If you would give me a stim-“

 

Kylo accidentally discovered the rocking chair could rock and sent his body into fight or flight mode. He recovered poorly. “I’m not leaving this baby. It’s too dangerous.”

 

“Well, I would like to stay on the planet for at least 48 hours to oversee the engineers installing mining equipment. I can give you 48 hours to play 'Daddy'.”

 

“Will you get some sleep?”

 

“After I check in with the engineers.” Hux would never go to sleep at the suggestion of someone else. It would mean admitting defeat. He had to tire himself out and go to sleep when he thought no one was watching him. 

The best and most effective method to get Hux was for Kylo to go to sleep. The last week, on top of the last 24 hours, was hitting him hard. The rocking chair was no fucking joke, he could fall asleep sitting in his cape and his tactical gear, lightsaber at his side baby in his arms like a g.

 

——————/——————

 

It was during the night cycle that Kylo woke up in the rocking chair. He felt a hostile presence through the force. He opted to open his eyes in lieu of getting up because once the baby turned on he had no idea how to turn it off again. The figure came through the door to the nursery silently and crept towards Kylo and the Prince.

 

It was basically the worst case scenario. Especially once he identified the intruder, who stopped in front of Kylo and judgmentally sized up the situation (not usually something assassins do).

 

“The Supreme Leader and the Grand Marshal, playing house?” Poe looked at Hux sleeping in the bed. 

 

Kylo shhh'd. He cradled the baby in the crook of his arm. “The only reason you’re alive right now is because it took me forever to get him to sleep!”

 

Poe lowered his weapon. “The Prince? Or the General?” 

 

Kylo didn't answer. “We found the Prince all alone. There’s some kind of ritual-“

 

“Yeah, why do you think I’m here?” Poe asked. “The royal family is gonna turn on you if they get their son back. So I’m here for the baby.”

 

“I may have accidentally killed his parents.” Kylo said.

 

Poe gestured to the Prince, whom Kylo was holding like bundle of wet towels.“You know that’s not how you hold a baby, right?” Poe tucked his blaster somewhere on his person and held his hands up. “Here, let me show you so that he doesn’t suffocate in his sleep” 

 

Of course Poe Dameron would insist that he was smarter than Kylo, an expert. But what if he had a point and the baby could be in danger? “If you hurt him,” Kylo said.

 

Poe easily put the Prince against his shoulder. “Please, why do you think I traveled halfway across the galaxy with a duffel bag full of pedialite? I had siblings, I can handle this.”

 

Kylo scowled while Poe started bouncing the infant and cooing to him, like he was just a regular baby and not a member of galactic royalty. 

 

“Hey little guy,” cooed Poe. “Did Kylo Ren and Grand Marshal Hux feed you yet?”

 

“Yes,” Kylo snapped defensively. “We gave him mashed up protein bars.”

 

“Hey, hey! that’s okay,” it was unclear whether Poe was cooing Ren or the baby. “I’m just asking. I know you didn’t change his diaper.”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes. Dameron was insufferable. “I’m sure you’re going to give me a lesson on that also."

 

Poe opened the bag on his back and proceeded to do some kind of complicated diaper thing that involved wipes and like a hundred tabs. Kylo watched only half-interested because the baby should be good for like, at least another day in a new diaper and they would be gone by then. 48 hours with a baby was too long. This was not the adventure he had signed up for (doing everyday activities with a baby that just laughs and smiles.) 

 

Poe bounced the infant and congratulated him on getting his diaper changed, which was ridiculous. 

 

“Do you want to go back to Daddy Kylo??” Poe cooed. The baby did not indicate a clear “yes” or “no” so the question was obviously rigged. 

 

“Give him back,” said Kylo. 

 

Poe bounced him for another second just so he could enjoy getting one over on the First Order, fucking finally. He handed Kylo the baby and gave him some pointers on how to hold him. 

 

“There you go,” said Poe. “You’re doing great.”

 

“I know I’m doing great,” said Kylo. “I can’t have trash like you coming in here and giving this baby back to his parents so they can defect to the resistance.”

 

Oof that sounded bad but okay. 

 

“Hey, I’m just trying to get this baby back to his parents. This is not a Resistance thing or a First Order thing.”

 

Kylo rocked in the chair. “You should get out of here before Hux wakes up. He is still angry about that stunt you pulled on him.”

 

“Which one?” asked Poe, because there were several stunts.

 

Ren was the jealous type. But that had nothing to do with it. Nope. Nothing at all. “The one where you impersonated a diplomat and hit on him naked.” 

 

Poe had to recall the episode. Apparently he did this a lot. “Oh yeah! Did you know that I bugged your room? You owe me a favor for losing that tape.”

 

Ren kept rocking in the chair while he tried to figure out how he owed Dameron a favor. 

 

“Come on,” said Dameron. “I had a listening device in the Grand Marshal’s suite on the hot springs planet. I recorded something- very private. And I chose to throw out that recording out of respect for your mother who would have had to listen to it.”

 

Ren remembered the tantric sex from the hot springs planet. It was the first time he topped. “What is wrong with you? Why would you bring up-that- in the same sentence as- her..”

 

Poe watched Ren struggle to verbalize “sex tape” and “Leia Organa”. There was too much there to unpack. 

 

“I destroyed it instantly. I couldn’t even get through the whole thing. It was too weird.”

 

“What, two guys?”

 

“No! Just- after the first or second ‘Daddy’ I decided that there are things I just don’t want to know about you two, even if it comes at the cost of actionable intelligence”.

 

Fuck he really did record them. Shit. Shit! 

 

“I don’t care,” said Ren. 

 

It sucked to admit but Ren had no business keeping this baby. He had to give it back to its rightful owner. “How much of a head start do you want?”

 

“Head start? Head start to what?” 

 

Ren looked into the baby’s sleeping face. He had no business keeping a baby as a pet, but this was nice. Four hours max with a baby was fine. “Head start to take the baby and get off the planet. I mean, everyone knows I’m the better pilot, right? How much of a head start do you need? Be generous.”

 

“Seriously? That’s, that’s gonna mean a lot to his parents,” Poe reached in his bag and began assembling some kind of baby harness. “I’m going to tell them what you did here today.” 

 

Poe had all his baby supplies gathered up and strapped to his body. He reached to take the baby from Kylo’s lap. “You’re doing the right thing. One day, this little guy is going to thank you.”

 

Kylo handed Poe the baby. Instantly the baby began to fuss. And then Poe started strapping the baby into the baby harness, which agitated the infant further. 

 

“Fuck”

 

“If Hux wakes up, I can’t protect you,” Kylo looked over at red hair poking out from under the blankets.

 

Poe adjusted his baby harness. “Right. Give me at least a half hour.”

 

“I’ll give you an hour,” said Kylo. “You probably need the handicap.”

 

“Okay I don’t but, thank you,” Poe looked back at the Grand Marshal. “Can you like, do 'something' to make sure he stays asleep?” 

 

Kylo re-considered killing Poe. “Get out before I wake him up myself.” 

 

Poe hustled out of the room and closed the door to the nursery behind him, loudly. Like a jerk. Hux stirred. Shit shit shit. Kylo did the only thing he could think of. He climbed into the bed alongside Hux like it was no big. 

 

He ran his hand up Hux’s arm: “shh, don’t wake the baby.” 

 

Hux sleepily reached across the bed for Kylo with the back of his hand, he fell asleep with his gloves on. “Kylo?”

 

“shh, go back to sleep,” Kylo rolled closer to spoon Hux. “If we get out of bed, we have to go to work.”

 

Hux’s eyes were still closed. He smiled and relaxed back against Ren. “Maybe if we stay quiet they will forget about us.”

 

A nice thought. Going to sleep and waking up with no obligations and nothing to do. Maybe they could spend the day in bed, fuck around and go back to sleep. Have some drinks without having to leave the bedroom. 

 

But the planet’s sun rose the next day and the galaxy continued to function by the same shitty rules. Kylo did not immediately tell Hux what happened. He watched Hux get briefed by his staff and strategize how to locate and retrieve the infant. Hux dictated orders to Mitaka about a recovery and cover up plan. Kylo watched without interfering. He planned to save the conversation for when they were alone again, which would happen on the command shuttle back to the Finalizer. Hux and Kylo practically collapsed as soon as the doors closed to their secure strategy room. 

 

“What did you do with the infant?” Hux asked. He didn’t seem angry which meant he was saving it. That was worse. 

 

Kylo sank into one of the chairs and rubbed his sunken eyes.

 

“Please, I figured it out when we woke up. Just tell me what stupid thing you did so I can figure out how angry I need to be,” Hux said.

 

Ren told him everything. Okay not everything. He did tell him about Poe Dameron but he also played up the details about his “altruism” so it seemed like he did a good thing. Maybe they could use it as PR. He also may have changed the part where Poe snuck up on him. 

 

Hux drummed his fingers on the table . “There is something you aren’t telling me. Tell me now, Ren.”

 

Ren put on his liar voice and everything. “No, that’s it."

 

Hux moved onto the couch and stared into Kylo’s huge pupils. “You are the worst liar."

 

“What is this, an interrogation?” It was. “I don’t know anything, Grand Marshal.”

 

“If you tell me now, I will be able to empathize with you,” Hux said calmly. “If you wait until later I’m going to be angry.”

 

This was basic interrogation. Tit for tat negotiating based on leveraging things they both wanted: information and empathy. Ren would cave strategically so that Hux could feel like he had a little control. 

 

“Dameron disclosed that he has sensitive intelligence about the First Order,” said Kylo. “I believe I have handled the situation and I do not want to stress you out because you are already wound all the way up!”

 

Hux leaned towards Kylo, winning. 

 

“There’s a sex tape of us,” said Kylo. 

 

Hux somehow found a way to go from 100% worked up to 101% worked up. Kylo explained about the alleged sex tape, and Poe’s claim that it was destroyed. He cited evidence that it was very real (some unique language). But overall Kylo felt good about it and Hux should too. Hux usually saw ten steps ahead and this was not something he saw coming, so he was freaked out. 

 

“You- you believed him?????” Hux scowled. “He said he wouldn’t show your mom but she is probably the one who TOLD HIM TO DO IT!”

 

“But it’s over now,” said Kylo. “I can sense it.”

 

“ASDFFGHHHJKKJHL- are you ready to have the entire galaxy know that you call me ‘daddy’ in bed????”

 

Kylo thought about it. “Yeah, hell yeah. I’m ready for them to know that your ass is mine.”

 

In any other context this aggressive imagery would be kind of hot. But Hux was worried on a whole other level. He immediately went to his datapad and began firing off confidential orders to monitor the holonet for x rated first order releases, and to block searches and set up precautions in case someone tried to leak the audio. 

 

Kylo watched Hux work himself into a frenzy. “You know, it’s only audio.”

 

“Yes, thank the stars. And we will set up new protocol to sweep all our accommodations for this kind of equipment,” Hux already sent out an email about it. 

 

“I would like to see a video version,” said Ren. “We should make our own.”

 

“Not the time Ren.”

 

“Actually, it’s the perfect time,” Ren described a plan to make a fake sextape and fake leak it so that they could control the narrative. It would be a tasteful sextape. They didn’t need to actually have sex it just had to be implied. Think Justin Bieber not Kim Kardashian.

 

Hux did not know who those people were because he did not follow celebrities or pop culture. But he stopped typing.

 

“Absolutely not,” Hux snapped. “You’re just horny on main because you haven’t gotten any in a week. We can smash as soon as we get back to the ship and I can get a shower.”

 

“Why not now???” Ren did some mental gymnastics to try and figure out why they couldn’t bang on the shuttle. They ALWAYS did it on the shuttle.

 

“You smell like hot trash,” said Hux. “Your hair is so greasy it could pass for a Resistance outpost.”

 

“Okay, I get it. I’ll take a shower.”

 

“I can keep going,” Hux smirked. “You’ve been sweating in those pants for a week and you seriously think you have a chance to get me to suck your dick. Please, I want you to do it. Convince me.”

 

“What if I bent you over right now?”

 

“If I took my uniform off it could stand up on its own. Luckily it’s black so you can’t see the many layers of my own filth I’m currently roasting in,” Hux leaned back because reading was fundamental. He could do this all day.

 

Kylo dropped it. Maybe the sex tape was a moot point. They won the planet. Kylo got to play with a baby. This was a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out my other fics and subscribe to my author page for more content. If you enjoy consider leaving a kudos or a comment about what you liked (or didnt like). Check me out on tumblr at iambackgarbageblog

**Author's Note:**

> like and subscribe
> 
> leave a comment and that would be fantastic


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